notes:
* Kenneth Branagh in a nearby castle at Belfast: i've never won an Oscar???!!! COME ON!!!
* Jack Tripper: i'm gonna try that trick next time, dress up as my date's best girl friend and enter her house by introducing myself to her parents...
* Phoenix: i'm wearing the greatest Halloween costume ever, my prom dress.
Lucio Rossi: but i thought you never went to your prom.
Phoenix: i didn't. this is the only way for me to experience what a prom is like. i'm gonna win the contest cos everyone else will be in Squid Game gear, how can you choose?
* Mozart's Ghost at the new KQED PBS studios in San Francisco: now THIS is a plum part to play!
* overheard in Live Oak: mothers driving cars off cliffs, rats in the soda fountain, welcome to Florida, put your phone up...
* Legends of Chima: we're like Beastars but safe for your kids
* Walmart
mom at dinnertable: we can't make this racist joke anymore, son. haven't you seen A Christmas Story?
son at dinnertable: but i was just pretending to be a walrus.
Phoenix: on a sidenote, i've forgotten how to have joy in my life...
* Google Pixel 6
dad: if you learn but one lesson from me about life, son, it's this: men cry.
Ryan Gosling: seeing this one life flash before our eyes i'm reminded of that The Midnight video i did for La La Land...
dad: i'll teach you how to dress.
son: dad that's not how to tie a tie.
dad: son, this sounds weird but trust me, dress only in Shakespearean frills, you will get ALL the chicks. well all the chicks who matter, only the drama chicks are worth it.
dad: son, never have your first kiss at a diner, it never ends well. unless it's Mel's Diner.
filmed in Pacific Grove!
* Google Pixel 6: yes but can we just automatically download updates without informing the user...
Phoenix: MY FACE WILL ALWAYS BE BLURRY!!!!!!!!!!
* Ally
Phoenix: unrealistic, man in my shirt would never be able to operate a lawnmower, i'm not handy.
girl rock-singer in a garage: if anyone can bring back plaid, it's Cobain.
dentist: got a sweet tooth, kid?
kid: you're giving me a root canal on Halloween Night, this is as spooky as it gets.
dentist: remember, kid, THE WATER FLOSSER EXISTS.
ice cream truck: here, kid, try this hot dog made entirely of plants...
identical twin: be thankful we can blow out birthdays candles again.
Jack Tripper: more men are taking up community-college knitting classes on the weekend since Tom Daley.
grandma: i use creepy dolls with Diana trains as my toilet-paper-roll holders. they pay for my tats.
ballet dancer on the streets: i was in that 1980 movie Fame...
gay couple: we knew we'd make it, we're two fat old gay dudes who look like Kurt Cobain.
gay couple in therapy: we knew we'd hit a rough patch, we were the first lesbians in Berkeley.
eventually everyone stars in Nomadland...
it's a degree from Berkeley Online University
ceremony by the lake: we love you, dad, you're dust now but eventually you'll be the surface of Planet B.
Sally: my name is actually Lucy, i got a football-shaped head...
* TikTok
Martha Stewart: there's no hole here.
Rachael Ray: um, yes there is, this hole is where i'm staying since my ranch-mansion burned down.
Martha Stewart: i was hoping to use this hole for me and Snoop.
* SoFi
we didn't ask you to dance, we asked you to paint the subway purple.
* better movie title for Say Anything than Say Anything:
The Boombox
Boombox
Boom
The Boom
best title: Smalltown Serenade
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MY BABIES!!!
tomorrow: Ghost Pepper Nuggets from Burger King, are they really that hot?...
No comments:
Post a Comment