Monday, December 31, 2012
TMIT: RESOLUTIONS? I WANT TO FUCK HOT BABES MORE...
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Friday, December 28, 2012
FRIDAY THREE: IN MEMORIAM
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
TNH: THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT. THE WORLD ENDS...AND THE POST-GOD PARTY BEGINS
*CLICKY CLICKY*click above on the Dresden Codex for #5 of 5, The EndGod DiesHe became embarrassed of His creation, ashamed, and after soul-searching the universe, He decides to land here back on Earth as is His wont to accept the final Melancholia consequence.God is comprised of a floating ball of light for a head with a face that looks like every human's face who has ever lived or will live, no flowing white beard and locks as is depicted by the master artists, rather, God sports a buzz cut after all the suffering. two long arms are by the face, suspended by magic in the air, the right arm is robed in black, the left in red, and there's a pocket protector that God wears which contains in it all of mankind's evil, the greed, the crime, the war, the religious wars, and the innocent lives lost in the pursuit of whatever motivethe black arm has packed into it the sinews and veins of human progress, from Adam's rib to a Roman shield to blood wine to a Wall coming down to a sword made of ivory to Genghis Khan's furry hat, Galileo's telescope, Michelangelo's hand and pizza, Frankenstein's bolts, an industrial workmanship, a computer key which births the first internet troll, Kurt's powder-blue guitar, Billy Corgan's seminal creativity, a calculator, and a split rock, it all unfurls like the shiniest flagi am bone-exhausted, i am soaking wet, i am splayed out hard into the ground, my face is caked in mud from that massive water incident two poems ago, i survived, barely, i don't have the strength but i can just barely manage to lift my face from the mud and reach my eye to view what is going onthe Mayflower begins to sail on invisible air, its moorings form the boundary of where God will do His final work.there is a bridge, do you see it? there is a covered bridge, covered in used love notes and tissue paper, the bridge is over an uncrossable waterway that is filled with acid and human divorces, this bridge connects two plots of land, the green one God is on now, and a yellow one...God's red sleeve uncurls to reveal a short list of those who understood what love was, there is the one and only love note which got answered, the one internet romance which was real, the one reality-show marriage which lasted, and a dump pile of remote controls and computer mice.not long now, Melancholia is slowly churning into the first side(s) of Earth, beautiful Earth, our only earth, the doomed planet, our only home which we took for granted, too late to crow about it now, three times the black crow crowsGod is tired, too, and ready to go, His final transformation: a rusty lead pipe comes out of His nose, it forms straight up like Pinocchio's nose and begins shooting out slips of paper with pithy writings on them, as if all of this human experience can be summed up like so many Chinese fortune cookie sayings, centuries and centuries of human living outlined in a few types and final doom sentences:it was the wrong crucifixit's a Wonderful Life, it's some sort of life, anywayArt will never pay, but i, me, the late phoenix, will die for Art broke and penniless foreverImagination will always trump Information, remember that as you turn on your computer againoh what a stirring sound we humans make!those clicking boxes in my dreams are the clicking boxes in my nightmarewhat can we lose if we lose our memories?what do we have to show for it in the end, Love or Lunch?the rumbling becomes too much to bear, it's an eternal rumbling that sounds eerily like a baby's first cry, Mother Earth was a hot babe but everyone loses their looks eventually, and the Brain was poisoned by pop culture, my mother, you should see my mother now, she has the quintessential TOTC attitude when she hears of tragedies now, it's like, what can i do? apathy is squirming its way into empathy, Too Old To Care, too many years logged on our doomed Dome Worldthe clouds form a wreath for God's head, flickering light now, the OFF switch pops out of His spleen just in timethe covered bridge, i can just see through the bridge, on the other side there is a patch of land, my skin is so sore, there is a table, on the table there are 16 glasses filled to the brim with champagne, a steady mark beat hits the glasses, forming a thud circle like in that Jurassic Park movie, why else set up glasses except for a party? this slight peek, over the peaks of human understanding, another dimension? CLICK HERE FOR THE NAUGHTY HANGOUTin this one cheesy dimension, no, comfortable dimension, inside the champagne glasses is this one last music: CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINKthere is fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fearfear of the unknown, who will be our Daddy now? the Earth is gone destroyed...but our ultimate fear is of connecting with people strange to youthere is love love love love love love love love love love love love love loveno, we haven't the first clue on true love, two lifetimes of studying and reading to dothere is song song song song song song song song song song song song song songthat song in the car we know all the lyrics to, all the chord progressions, it's familiar, it gets us by, our familiar, the familiar spiritthere is fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fearthere is love love love love love love love love love love love love love lovethere is song song song song song song song song song song song song song songfear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fearlove love love love love love love love love love love love love lovesong song song song song song song song song song song song song songfear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear love love love love love love love love love love love love love love song song song song song song song song song song song song song song.
Monday, December 24, 2012
TMIT: I NEVER KNEW WHAT TIRED MEANT UNTIL NOW
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Friday, December 21, 2012
FRIDAY FIVE: MRS. CLAUS, YOU SO CRAZY
FIRST, CLICK HERE. that is a festive remake of this commercial: CLICK HERE. now, everyone, please answer the following questions:1. which of the two commercials did you enjoy more? why? the one with the milf is the original one.2. do you ever dress up as a sexy Mrs. Claus or hott elf during the holidays to spice things up in the sack like hot spiced cider?3. does touching devices count as human contact?4. do you think Santa studies his sexual naughty list not so much to prepare for the Big Night but rather to glean ideas for Mrs. Claus in the Crimbus sack? a sack, btw, that's adorned with white poofballs5. how have you used technological advances to advance the fuck quotient in your particular relationship?.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
TNH: CRIMBUS SWEATER
*CLICKY CLICKY*click above on Billy Corgan and his epic Crimbus sweater for #4 of 5there was excitement when i discovered this, it was like finding a rare squiggly-lined home movie of your hero in music and in life. actually, yes, that's exactly what it was.CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK, AND MIND THE HOMEMADE CANDLECLICK HERE FOR THE NAUGHTY HANGOUTMURRY CRIMBUS EVERYBODY.
Friday, December 14, 2012
LOOK UP AT THE NIGHT SKY, AND WHEN YOU SEE THAT STAR, THAT IS ME, WITH YOU FOREVER
...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
TNH: COULD THIS FINALLY BE THE MOMENT?
*CLICKY CLICKY*click above, the time is drawing near, soon, very soon, the planet Melancholia will smash into Earth, and it will all be over. #3 of 5i'm in water, in the middle of a vast ocean with no landing in sight, i'm the character in the last crayon drawing of a poor little girl who died of cancer in the hospital, i live out her final wish being the actor in her play, i'm drowning...in memories, last thoughts, and clips of the pasttoo tired to move on, to reach for air, to gasp again, but i've made it thus far somehow, not on steam and motivation, but on miserable luckDad's Ghost is my swim partner in the salty seas, he was never salty, just hard-going when it came to telling the truthxmas party, i'm the mistletoe virginmust remember to take my scheduled 2PM-3PM nap, that's where i rest my head, calm my racing thoughts, and dream up song lyrics and song melodies, they come to me without effort, but FUCK FUCK FUCK i always FUCKING forget the beautiful melodies and chord progressions i envision, they're not there when i wake up, and i bemoan my station in life, that coulda been a #1 selling song on the charts, i could be rich and famous now, i could be next to Seth in line to be interviewed by Barb Walters in her upcoming Fascinating People specialit's all over, it's just begun, a new start of overs, begun into more neverswater creeping up inside my gullet now, more salt is never a good thing unless on pastamy physical heart was never the problem, it was strengthening the interior one with exercises of kindness and blog kindness, so rare a commodity these daysthe last tree, the last bush, the last Bushwhat does it really mean for it all to end?to end, to end, but the end must find a space in an area which is not the endthe show's over, but the ghosts of the show's actors remain in the lips of those dead and gone but who wrote about what they saw and others saw that online and online is no more but the wisps and thoughts of something are typing again on an unknown planet which is really Earth reborn into another false religion which is typing up new pamphlets to hand out to the adoring congregation and the burden of non-belief gives way to the burden of belief and i'm drowning, so why do i see things clearly for the first time? the water is so murky and yet my eyes are crystal clearthe last joke is the funniestto not have a life was your life, your destiny is right around the corner, needs more types, more emails, back and forth respond and comment to comment and comment on that comment, 12/12/12, 2012 is really Year Zerosolitary, no boats, paddling silently on an ocean of calm, dead calm, the dead ocean already dead and springing with new lifeforms, another oil spill is par for the course, eventually it all clears up, everything clears up everything eventually eventually eventuallyroot canals are merely meditative opportunities: Murry Crimbus and a happy Last Yearmusic music of the sea, a red-haired mermaid glances at me with a childhood nostalgia arrow perched aiming at my third eyepoor girl who died, another shooting, another reason to blend trains of thought into an infomercial blendera fixed moment in time, a fixed point in timeand *BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB*88888888888888888888888888888888888 star mass Star Mass continued to be continued...somehow...sometime...after these messages, we'll return to the show...swirl swirl swirl swirlie...giant beautiful double-helix shape discovered just in time, everything forms into the double-helix, i'm being sucked in, sucked...AND YOU CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK, LISTEN TO THIS WHILE CLUTCHING THE HAND OF YOUR SISTER IN A MAGIC CAVE WITH A GOLDEN TICKET BY YOUR SIDE...this is Romantic music, not melancholic music, Lars teaches us on the DVD extras...CLICK HERE FOR THE NAUGHTY HANGOUT.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
MY ROOT CANAL EXPERIENCE: I GET THROUGH IT SOMEHOW
Monday, December 10, 2012
TMIT: 'TIS THE SEASON...FOR GUM DISEASE
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Friday, December 7, 2012
CAROLING TO ATHEISTS
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