Monday, July 30, 2012


1. how do you feel about giving anal sex? what's anal sex?

2. how do you feel about receiving anal sex? oh, you mean prison funtimes? okay, i'm cool with that...

3. how do you feel about getting undressed in front of your new lover? it depends on the lover. one time i dropped my drawers with a quickness, but she didn't appreciate it, said i was too small, but when you need to piss like a racehorse, modesty goes out the window.

4. do you express your pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises? in high school, i was a sigh man, but that was deemed girly, so i studied up, took the entrance exam, and graduated into groan territory. groaning is the manly, virile thing to do, leave the moans for the ladies. i also make this noise when i'm about to cum of a Star Trek phaser set to stun about to go off, it's this rrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeee thing...yeah, so...maybe should've...not talked 'bout that

5. do you talk to your babe in a sexually explicit way? no, i feel this is quite inappropriate.

6. what kind of animal do you sound like as you're building to a climax, a quiet little mouse, a low moaning wolf, or a screeching beluga whale? a low screeching mouse, SEE PIC 2 FROM ATOP

bonus: which do you prefer, comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? i save all of my comfort for comfort food like spaghetti, i get out all of my creative, artisitic, writing, and general life frustrations when i climb Mount Everest everyday, so that takes care of the thrill-seeking part. i want to be a certain blogger's husband, i want to marry her, and then we can have married sex, which is no sex at all.



Wednesday, July 25, 2012



click on the anamorph for #3 of 4, to see a forest inside a tree.

then, sign up for youtube if you haven't already or you won't be able to see the vid:


THEN, please answer the following questions:

1. did Monkey Jesus beget King Kong because He was disappointed in what we had all become?
2. is that hot when guys lick their microphones?
3. who is your favorite ever actor? Jack Nicholson perhaps?
4. if you had to sell your soul to someone, anyone, who would that be?
5. which blogger do you want to fuck like an animal?



Monday, July 23, 2012



1. what size bed? king, queen, full, twin? i am the king with the queen bed. actually, i sleep on cardboard...but it's not what you think, i'm not homeless this time, only environmentally sound. i sleep on a do-it-yourself makeshift cardboard bed, see the pic above, it's a big hit at parties though not so much with the ladies.

2. what mattress construction? conventional springs, air bed, water bed, Tempurpedic type? OMFG, if i have to listen to that same "ASK ME" Tempurpedic commercial one more fucking time, i'll burst like a water bed. for some reason, the shows i watch, this commercial springs (pun intended) up at every break, the only commercial i've seen more is that one with the lady and the dude with spiked golden hair talking about how drawing is their life, they always could draw pretty well but needed more of a structural foundation which was provided by this Art School. man...i mean, some of the Tempurpedic babes are cute, but cute can't eventually erase annoying.

3. what type furniture? just a frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle? check out my canopy bed, top pic up top there. cool, huh? in between fucking the babe of the week, i raise a nest of dodo birds, they're not extinct, i have the last family, i feed them good food and they grant me their eggs so i can have fresh eggs for breakfast every morning. i'm winning in life...

4. if your bed has a headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? ever tied anyone to them? for what purpose? i was completely tied up once on a bed, my hands, feet, belt area, torso, neck, everything, preparing for shock therapy. didn't work, i'm still moody. oh, you want a sexy answer? check out PIC 12 from above there. that's what i did last night. i can be sexy when i'm not on a medical bed taking medicine.

5. what kind of sheets? cotton, linen, silk, flannel? you thought i was gonna choose flannel, huh?, cause they look like '90s-era grunge Cobain shirts, but no, gotta go with the silk, only the best for my babe, yeah, i spin the silk myself, i go up to the mountains to do it, up to that mountain range in the harsh, snowy, rugged conditions, uh, yeah, that mountain range, whichever mountains are the most rugged, that's where i travel to, all so my baby can feel nice and comfortable when we're fucking like rabbits and we spill all of the cum and vagina juice on the silk sheets, staining all of the work i have done.

6. what kind of blankets? cotton, wool, thermal, electric? a week ago, i would have chosen electric in honor of My Dinner With Andre, but now, after i read that Snuggie Sutra book, i'm a converted snuggie-sex practitioner, it's the new yoga for the internets age, i know all of the snuggie-sex positions, i especially like the one, see the pic above, where i'm talking on the phone while my babe gives me a blowjob, it's the standard rap-video blowjob position, but the fact that it's now covered in a snuggie makes the trope novel again somehow, ya feel me? plus, cum stains wash out of the snuggie very easily, just rinse with lime juice...

7. what's on top? bedspread, duvet? ME...oh, well, i use a bedspread very similar to Tony from SKINS's naked-person duvet, check out PIC 20. oh, SKINS, how i miss that tv show, that dark show about teens, the UK version, of course, the only one that counts, nothing beats the original.

8. what kind of pillow? down, foam, fiberfill? being the wordplay aficionado that i am, i have to choose fiberfill only 'cause that sounds the dirtiest.

bonus: if ________ comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? if the TMITers come over, they can fuck me only on three conditions: they are eco-friendly, they are fans of The Cure, and they appreciate my hard silk work.



Saturday, July 21, 2012


flying is healing,
it's true.
not in an airplane, mind you, i'm talkin' 'bout
ascending into the sky with just your body,
your arms outstretched to the farthest ether
like a human flying squirrel
who forgot his limitations.
floating with no bottom as if in a dream
but this is real, you are not asleep,
the daily angst and news reports fly by with blinding speed
in the wake of your vital work,
therapy in blue.
problems become little ants on the hidden ground,
you smell up the wisps of clouds amongst you,
v-shape your fingers, the nose of this human plane
rocks straight into a land unknown, a feeling of exodus.
white sky blankets above your trajectory,
below is the past,
you are forgetting to forget:



Wednesday, July 18, 2012



click on where you would find me lost in during the '80s for #2 of 4, open the door, see all the people...and one Headless Horseman


THEN, please answer the following questions:

1. have you ever honestly used the term "case of the Mondays" at any time during any conversation in your life?
2. what is your favorite ever video game?
3. what would you do if you pushed the button that Ended the World?
4. okay, so now you've gone and screwed up big time. the only way to Save the World is to give me a kiss. describe this kiss.
5. what do the Chuck E Cheese animatronic animal robots do behind the curtain in the dark backstage after they have "entertained" us with their songs?



Monday, July 16, 2012


pic 5 from top: keep your eyes on your own paper, that's how a Row Row Row Your Boat round gets started.

6: this isn't cheating, it's the beginning of a beautiful tri-lationship.


10: that pale weakling Edward Cullen could break the bed, so why can't i? i'm a skinny vampire, too...

11: not all bites are bad, ask Spiderman 'bout it.

13: an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

1. i enjoy the idea that my partner wants to inflict pain on me so much that i:
a) become curious
b) become aroused and titillated
c) end up a heap on the floor crying and screaming 'cause i love it to death

i've never been titillated in my life. sad, but true. i've tried so hard, i've bought all the machines, i've been duped by infomercials, i want you to tit me.

2. do you like to be forced to act or dress in a way that is humiliating? i don't like to be forced to do something, but then again, i freely wear berets out in public, and i get that something extra when a patriot throws a tomato in my face, so calculate all that.

3. do you like seeing bruises, scars, or marks caused during kinky sex? sex should be pleasurable, not painful, unless you subscribe to the notion that pain=pleasure=pain, then i'm not for you, i was an English major, not Math.

4. would you like to be forced to do something sexually that you don't necessarily want to do? only if it involves a ball gag. my first real introduction to the world of kinky sex came after watching the sublime, never-equalled-since music video for "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, the uncensored version. ever since then, Jack Nicholson became cooler, twirling around in a circle became cooler, and ball gags are the shit.

5. do you want to be forced to watch your lover with someone else? yes, it needs to happen, cheating brings people closer, the makeup sex that occurs after can never be duplicated or repeated in a lab, there has to be actual cheating going on, and makeup sex is the only sex that counts, regular, committed vanilla sex is boring, do i have enough now to sell my self-help book?

6. what dirty, inappropriate things do you like to tell your lover? that i'm a boss at CandyLand

bonus: finish this statement: i like being powerful in bed because__________

i'm not powerful anywhere else, except with the writing, i'm the Superman of Writing, i made my own cape from my pillow threads and everything, has a big W on it...for Whopper