* they turn to watch her spin, the entire room, and she's not even a ballerina...
* the ONE thing any woman can do to seduce anyone is to fence. a woman who fences beats back all the centuries of phallic symbols in Civilization with one thrust of her spear.
* as you know, i abhor violence in film, but what i most appreciate Natural Born Killers for is the aesthetic it promotes, this thing is pure pulp through and through, and it maintains a sense of wanderlust that i think all humans strive for. you know the one, where you're a couple of outsider outlaws with no city to belong to, aimlessly driving your life away with the top permanently up on lonely desert highways, never anywhere to be and always causing trouble cos you're eternally bored. your very identity is the Road.
* where the hotel beds always have brown-cinnamon heavy linen, and you watch wildlife videos on your cross window pane, not on a screen. hey have you noticed that we wouldn't be the same people if we didn't have the remote control? the remote control is the singular item in history which has shaped culture more than any other. even Nutella.
* Scarface: it's a snake, like all women, i mean penguin, pelican.
Lana: you've just met the wrong women, you got hurt by one and never got over it.
Scarface: what's your real name, Lana Del Rey?
Lana: does it matter? I'll never be as famous as the Archer one. they said you doing Scarface was a blow to your career.
Scarface: it was blow alright.
* Jared Leto: whatcha reading, ma'am? and can i borrow a roller for my beard?
lady: can you believe Elvis is really dead? like ALL those sightings were bogus! and why do you look like if Salvador Dali were hot? i'm using this rag here to dry my hair.
Jared: oh, the National Enquirer, that's still a thing? oh i get it, Elvis married Bigfoot and assumed a low profile in the Florida Everglades after that.
lady: no that's the Trump wedding. can you believe he won again?
* Jared: that's not an ankle tat, that's my zigzag sock.
* where the best arguments happen at a too-brightly-lit gas station by the side of the highway at 3AM
* ostrich: i'm the baddest motherfucking bird there is! i was the ONLY one who said FUCK YOU NATURE I'M NOT FLYING!!!
* no ostriches were harmed in the making of this picture...but i'm sure the crew rode them.
* ostrich: these aisles remind me of the desert sand-dune races back home in Saudi Disneyland, only difference is THESE rows are filled with water bottles...
* Lana: i only wear this spiffy retro-olive '50s green jumpsuit when i go someplace special. the only place special any human goes anymore is the grocery store! it's so fun!
* Lana: got any Kraft Dinner? go Raptors!!!
* Jared: i'm standing as hard as i can as a counterweight on the other side of your basket, Lana, but it's not tipping over, this makes me sad.
Lana: music thing didn't work out?
Jared: i'm trying to get back in sad mode to compose more music. and new lyrics, it's a valing balance measure kinda thing, my next album will be about voting.
* Lana: a little dab'll do you. why at these specific points in the body? the wrist delicately and the back of the earlobe, two subtle dots?
Jared: that's where your chakras are, thanks Naruto. as for me, i just splash a whole grid-glass bottle of Gucci Extremely Guilty all over my face Joker-style.
* Jared: a flower is especially red at a cemetery.
Lana: where the only thing we eat as a couple on the run is fast food. oh who are we kidding? we don't have time to stop at a grocery store to eat, get thee to a diner!
Courtney Love: coffee?
Mueller: leave the pot.
Mueller: i'm Robert De Niro.
* Courtney: i invented the whole Alice waitress pink-poodle outfit, pink is my color. see this isn't a waitress outfit, it's just grunge.
* i swear to goddess, when i first saw this commercial, i was thinking to myself: that waitress sure looks an awful lot like Courtney Love. Courtney Love looks GOOD, she gets better and better, she's aging like a fine wine, she's growing into her starlet face, the starlet who refuses to fade, the brassy Lauren Bacall-type. Courtney's more the White Dwarf Starlet.
* where the laundromats are the only neon for miles. there's something about laundromats, right? cos they've all but faded from our collective street consciousness. they're eerie and entrancing. this is the place you go to have that impromptu life-changing conversation with that stranger you'll never forget---or meet again---the one you had whilst flipping a quarter. where you meet your soul mate searching for her lost sock behind the fern. you met her butt first before you met her face. these are places to meet up at night where mystery, not just the laundry, unfolds…
* Lana: dahlin do i look sundrenched by this lake here?
Jared: splendid, my dear. this picnic is to die for! but you know we're really supposed to be at a lecture now at that grey-stone lecture hall in the background, i mean we ARE students enrolled at this university!
Lana: i love how there's no dress code but we're dressed in matching corduroy suits anyway.
Jared: are those your red panties or a flower you threw at my head?
Lana: in the end it's all the same thing. that BETTER be a Polaroid camera!
* Lana: smoky eyelashes, like a tiger.
tiger prowls the laundromat.
Bindi Irwin: TOO MYSTERIOUS!
tiger: i have laundry business needs to conduct here, too, ya know. my leopard-print panties.
* Jared: but i HAVE to jump on the bed, it's European and artistic.
worldly European director: springs broke, you're too heavy for a man. next time, get a Serta.
* god i loved those days in the '80s when the sun would wheeze out its last dying breath of light for the day, the yellow fades and the blue just peaks interest, everyone pushing their carts along down the impossibly-angled windy hilly sidewalk somehow not spilling all ther groceries all at once. you never knew if any of these people ever returned the shopping cart to the store after they got home...
* Lana: are you playing video games?
Jared: uh, no, it's wine.
Lana: i know a joystick when i feel one. that corsage you're wearing better not be that owl we saw at the cemetery earlier, that's a bad omen. why do yo wear a smoking jacket to bed?
Jared: those are MY CHIPS!
Lana: i'm kicking you out of bed for eating crackers.
* where the only food we eat is diner food and the only drink we drink is diner coffee...
Courtney Love: coffee?
renegade couple: no thanks, we've had five clinking cups already.
Courtney: as you can probably surmise, there is no bathroom here.
Jared: let me pay for the coffee, Lana, i need this.
Courtney: want some oat-milk coffee?
Lana: is that a euphemism for a cum snowball or something?
Courtney: you're right, all coffee tastes the same. all coffee tastes like coffee.
* Jared: is it wrong to eat a loaf of bread while still in the supermarket?
Lana: not if you pay for it.
Jared: whoops. my mother always said i was an unseemly child. what's that plastic jug you're chugging?
Lana: i'm finally drinking the Kool Aid.
* Jared: take off your shoes.
Lana: kinky. this is my kind of dancing, not knowing when it will end, i have callouses on my feet now.
Jared: i don't want the laundromat floor to get dirty. that stone statue at the cemetery? that's me in a life yet to come, trippy, huh?
* this is LIFE. not the supermarket cereal. this is LIVING. this is the WIND. on your back and on your front. and on your fuzzy lapel. this is the true American Frontier: Hollywood.
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happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: the Taco Bell nacho boxes. BOTH boxes, the beef and the shredded-chicken-variety one, BOTH delivered to my house by GrubHub...that's my dream anyway, it's probably too expensive in real life...hot sauce, not the fire sauce, the hot sauce...okay maybe one fire sauce...