TMIT: TIMES WERE SIMPLER IN 2012

 

looking back at my answers in 2012.........i mean.........what the FUCK was i writing back then? it looks like the screed of a raving lunatic in an asylum. i mean i was STARK back then, THOROUGHLY AND UTTERLY insane, crazily trying to find connections as i wrote but really the whole thing is a pile of gibberish mush. i'm more enlightened now.........that is i take my meds now. and the PICTURES!!! back then i thought i had to post the craziest photos possible in order to get likes...

INVERTED POLL, oh, okay, now i get it, i only got that NOW in 2022, i didn't get that in 2012...

in many polls you are asked if you strongly agree, somewhat agree, neither agree nor disagree, somewhat disagree, or strongly disagree with some proposition. today we go the other way. we supply the answer, you supply the question:

1. tell us something with which you strongly agree or generally like: Mattea Roach.

i mean this IS the Jeopardy format, right? she was badass!!! she was from Canada so she's already cool. she was a rad lesbian. and she talked with her hands so i felt seen!!! and her tats!!! and those blazers!!! those blazers were Lupin III-level blazers.

2. tell us something with which you somewhat agree or somewhat like:

nuance, i somewhat like nuance...

3. tell us something with which you are indifferent or have no opinion: tennis.

hear me out. see before there was an unbroken chain like Fleetwood Mac. i got into tennis when Sampras was burning the grass at Wimbledon. i missed the legendary John McEnroe rants, the Jimmy Connors gold chains. Agassi, Courier, those guys, that was my era. Martina Navratilova was in her swan song, her later years in her career, she wore glasses on court all the time...

Sampras transitioned seamlessly to Roger. during that long stretch when Federer was fixing every single bone in his back, every vertebra needed healing, i started to realize that i didn't care about tennis AT ALL if Federer wasn't playing. i was simply unable to sit down and watch a Wimbledon final between Djokovic and Berdych.

so i was starting to feel this again, the tennis ennui. Roddick? no, he was a better SNL host. Nadal? no, he was a better clay sculptor. and then along comes CARLOS ALCARAZ!!! now THIS is a boy i can get behind!!! this young man who doesn't have a driver's license beat Nadal AND Djokovic at the same CLAY tournament!!! never been done before in history!!! Alcaraz is the real deal, the GENUINE ARTICLE, he's a Nadal i can finally root for!!!

4. tell us something with which you somewhat dislike or disagree with: Eureka's popularity. i never got that. remember Eureka, that show on the Sci-fi Channel in 2006? people went CRAZY over that show, they went GAGA for that show in the comments on boards and blogs. maybe if i had seen the Steve Jobs episode. what i don't want is a reboot of this with the Elon Musk Episode, i will NOT watch that!!!

5. tell us something with which you strongly disagree or strongly dislike? the Roe v. Wade reversal. come on, people, Restore Roe. and while you're at it, Finland and Sweden join NATO yesterday. i mean are we trying as a humanity to make this world AS CRAZY AS POSSIBLE? as divided AS POSSIBLE? why? for what purpose? to what end? to destroy ourselves before global warming does it for us?

BONUS: what is an opinion held by others that makes you crazy?

look, Season 6 of Saturday Night Live was GOOD, okay?!!! the Star Wars Holiday Special was GOOD!!! Cameron Diaz doesn't do it for me, sorry. i chew gum instead of brushing my teeth. i've never tasted clam chowder.........except that one time in Manhattan. i used to LOVE granola bars but not anymore. why is Professional Wrestling so popular? the crowd in the mosh pit knows it's fake, right?...

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