this would have been The First Day of School. that is a concept that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. back when i had hair. it sends a shiver of abject fear down my throat. anticipation petrification. teaching tension. i loved to learn but hated school. but then again, if i went back to school maybe my life would get back on track. so it's a double-edged sword, and i've swallowed enough swords to get by in life already...
all that toilet paper looks like the cover of that Veruca Salt album...
the following alternate timelines are gonna make me cry...
10 THINGS I'VE SCREWED UP:
1) i should have gotten Jennifer Pizarro's phone number on The Last Day minutes before the bus came and that fateful summer semester hit...
2) English Major? what the FUCK was that?!!! i should have gone into a summer theatre-play-writing program BEFORE my college career started. scouted the joint out first.
3) FUCK THE DORMS
4) i should have gotten that cute little one-room apartment by Telegraph Ave DURING MY FRESHMAN YEAR!!! that would have set me up nicely, it's just like a monk's cell...
5) FOOD CARD?!!! WHY?!!! McDonald's was right THERE!!!
6) i should have worked at Kingpin Donuts, Fat Slice pizza, and Rasputin music.
7) i shoulda fucked Georgia when we were undergrads. then i could have LEGITIMATELY claimed that i fucked a professor and it wasn't for grades.
8) instead of the dorms i should have lived in the hostels. community living, that would have whetted my appetite to take a year off to travel across Europe instead of slogging through one more useless semester of English Major on the streets. i needed hiking boots not glass-bottom high-heels...
9) i should have gotten a scholarship, all four years free. instead we existed in the WORST tax bracket of all time: we were JUST rich enough that we couldn't qualify for a scholarship but we weren't rich by any means, we were DIRT POOR!!! i mean what were the straight As in high school FOR?!!! WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT?!!! hard work? you gotta be lucky in life, not studious...
10) why o why is there no longer a Ned's Bookstore?...
BONUS: what do you need advice on? how to live
2 comments:
But on the upside you talk English real purty today.
smu: thank you, i needed that. it's Blog English but i'll take it. if only teachers were paid like politicians...
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