Friday, December 29, 2023

ABRAHAM LINCOLN CRASHED TOM THUMB'S WEDDING


 



notes:

* Trevor: this Aeon Flux episode was the Boxing Helena garden-party scene. 
Aeon Flux: did you like me in that grey college varsity sweater?
Aeon Flux: did you like that Katharine Isabelle expression of fat shock i had on my face there?
Trevor: irresistible.........but i MUST resist somehow for another episode!!!...

* tightrope surgery: clown surgery.

* Amazing Stories "Moving Day".
Donna Pescow: this HAS to have been the pilot episode of "Out of This World"...
Jen R: gotta love a braless mom waking you up in the morning. i need one of those egg devices!!! put the egg in the square hole and the microwave triangle spits out scrambled, genius.
me: the kid's reading cosmic-commando comics, at least it's not Playboy. sci-fi comics will help his future.........both meanings of future...
Jen R: i know the location of that house!!! that futuristic grey-white house in the hills with the severe angles and the plexiglass balconies, that's Burt Reynolds's house in Pacific Palisades!!!
Burt Reynolds: Hollywood Hills was where i proposed to Loni Anderson.
Loni Anderson: i turned him down 4 times...
Rod Serling: WAY better sets than anything we had, this set design is EXPENSIVE...
Amy Heckerling: what a GORGEOUSLY sweet ending.
Dr. Vacc: dentist chairs at the end...

* tea: settles your stomach. as your mind goes crazy...
Paul: bright-white mustaches are sexy.

* Phoenix: who the fuck plays golf in 100-degree heat?!!!

* Peter Capaldi: SoFi Stadium, futuristic-looking stadium, on the giant screen is the only way to see the new episodes of Doctor Who in America now. sci-fi at SoFi, you bastards.

* franchise quarterback: hard to find. like a wife.

* Sexy Mama Love Spaghetti: spaghetti served only with brown sauce.

* Ritz cracker: no, Ritzcracker, as in Ritz Nutcracker...

* Ear Horn: afraid of needles, dearie? try stinging nettle...

* ya casi: almost.........married...

* Arch Oboler: Orson Welles was too BIG for the both of us.
Jean Shepherd: you suck, Arch. at least i squeezed in my "A Christmas Story" story in there on the radio...

* Lucio: even the spam calls give up after two rings when it's from 13587290146...

* me: this is the first time Twixmas was eventful for me.

* my grandma in Boothbay Harbor from her family house on the bay with a dock-pier instead of a front door: Ex-President Bump gone. i did it for Burnsy. i did it for BARNESY!!!
Maine Secretary of State Marcia Clark: Christopher Darden was my sidepiece during the O.J. Trial...

* Meredith Speight at PBS: don't you want to pay for me? THE WORLD wants to pay for me!!!

* one more week at a halfway house.........and i'm not even drinking...

* Hayao Miyazaki: you need an ornithopter for the ordeal you're suffering through. anime was a mistake. except for my films. imagine me doing Death Note...

* Michael Weiss: Instagram is like doing hard time in prison for 20 years, resentments build up, frustrations arise, bitterments creep up, injustice lingers, jealousy festers...

* Mark Hapka: at the University of Phoenix, i earned my PhD in Manifest Magic in just 3 days...

* The Outer Limits "Blank Slate".
Robbi Chong: that was bullshit!!! we had the PERFECT ENDING where you would choose NOT to go back to your ugly past of forced memory deletion and START FRESH FROM SQUARE ONE with me. i needed to leave my old life behind and begin anew, too, i abandoned my sister to our rapist stepfather in order for me to flee towards a better life of homeless shelters. helping out in the homeless shelters, soup-kitchen duty.
Dale Midkiff: it was a sweet ending. till it got all dark, depressing, and hopeless at the VERY END...

* Nicole Briscoe: i'm annoying as fuck. i have an irritating grating vibe, like i'm that pearled aunt from Fairview you never want to see parked in your driveway. 
Jen R: pearled is bad, purled is good...
Nicole Briscoe: am i supposed to be hot? why did ESPN get rid of Jade McCarthy!!!

* Jen R: i got a Bartesian in my bed instead of a George Clooney Keurig!!!

* Gladyce: the kitchen towel went VELCRO on me!!!

* Amazing Stories: each episode is a snug little intimate capsule of comfort.

* UNRWA: of all the jobs out there, hauling heavybags of wheat on your two shoulders in Palestine is the most important job there is.

* Verizon.
fam: what are you doing?
dad: being dramatic.
fam: it didn't register cos you weren't using the William Shatner Voice.
mom: spaghetti night.
dad: chili with beans?
mom: no, tomato sauce in a 5-cent pewter can.
dad: that's fucking red water.

* Jen R: i know i'm from Baltimore but Joe Flacco is suddenly cute again...

* Lady Gaga: Nurtec works fine but i get painful blitzing migraine headaches every time i see purple...

* Emergen-C: our crystals look like crystal meth. perfect to take on the bus.

* Land Rover: wanna save on expensive car washes? drive to a waterfall...

* Lexus December to Remember.
sled dogs: wolf pupits but the sled is a car.
Jules Smith: ...
Jules Smith: it makes The Pack, Halo and Tex, MORE beautiful. when that car pulls up and a wolf gets out of the car door instead of a dog, that is magnificent magic.


happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: you might as well allow yourself to dream, you're never gonna get what you want. imagine.........purely.........Willy Wonka Food at Denny's, the purple hamburgers with the purple patties, the purple pancakes with the purple sauce, the purple coffee... 









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