TMIT: BRUNCH GOSSIP

 

1. just curious, if you are in an open relationship, would it bother you if you partner's new lover sent you pics of them together? 

i mean it's a bit distasteful, is it not? isn't this thing supposed to be SECRET? stuff like this gives me a complex. i start getting FOMO. actually i get FOMF, Fear of Missing Fucking.

2. what is the rudest thing someone can do in your home? not invite me to brunch

3. what would you change about your experience growing up? NOT A THING. my childhood was PERFECT.........well okay if there has to be one thing i never played with the NES Advantage joystick. i got the NES Max which was bunk, it sucked, there was like a red circle thing that swirled all over the place but the touch was foul, it didn't feel right, my thumb was tossing, i was not ready for that type of swirl. i've always loved joysticks since i first played Paperboy in the arcade as a kid. the FEEL of a joystick pushing down on the palm of one's hand, you know?, THAT is swirl.

4. the absolute worst fight you've ever had with a significant other, what was it about?

she's over here talking about leaving a legacy and i'm over there talking about how Robbie Coltrane's performance in Cracker is crisp, pitch-perfect, and sublime, with echoes of Da Vinci's Inquest and Da Vinci's City Hall.........and the Da Vinci TV-movie The Quality of Life that ended it all.

5. what is your favorite place to visit in your town? Bruno's for those overpriced sandwiches. i mean no matter how good a sandwich is, is ANY sandwich worth $30? that's an existential question.

BONUS: were you your mom or dad's favorite kid? BOTH

my childhood was interesting. i was a brat of a brother. and then VICI came into our lives, Voice Input Child Identicant. we called her Vicki. Vicki accumulated more and more secret powers with each episode, powers we didn't know what to name after a while. we had no idea what these powers were for. she could shrink to the size of a dime for shits and giggles. in the series finale, Vicki cured cancer. in the series finale Vicki also tossed me into the Arctic Ocean, i deserved it.

it was only years later when i became an adult and had robot kids of my own did i realize my mom Marla Pennington was a stone-cold '80s milf...

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