Monday, October 31, 2022



that is, death notes:

did you see it last night? Death Note on The Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror, it was ABSOLUTELY ANIME AMAZING. no spoilers but that had to have been done by a Japanese studio house, the same one Miyazaki abandoned. salaryman, i love that word. 

1. true or false, you can never have enough money.

true. you need money to put on plays. i wish i had stuck by my UCLA summer drama teacher in 5th Grade, she was a cute spry young college-student intern teacher's assistant with freckles back then so now as a professor of drama she'd be a seasoned gilf wearing an old-lady hat with a purple jewel in the center that spills glitter and i'd be the perfect candidate for her kept boy, WHAT A LIFE that would be!!! she'd leave her husband and adult son to travel with me around the world, we'd shack up in Cancun and Ibiza and the Vatican. bonded by our love of the arts. 

2. will money solve all your problems? yes. because i need an EXTRA bag of candy for tonight. for me. and i need to get out of this costume, it doesn't look like what i'm going for. if you have to explain the costume, the costume is a failure. how many Halloween visitors are we gonna get at the house? my estimate is: 0.

3. i will not buy something unless it is new? (furniture, car, clothes)

i've never bought a piece of furniture in my life, my bed is my desk and dinner table. i can't go into a Good Will anymore until they clear the shelves of Kanye's donations, my back doesn't need a scratchy sweater this winter THAT bad. i towed away the repo man's car...

4. is it important to save for a rainy day? an emergency fund?

usually. but not in California where it doesn't rain anymore. whenever there's an emergency i call William Shatner over at Rescue 911. you KNOW Shatner will be there on the other end of the line, he will NEVER DIE, the man is 100 years old and went up into outer space, he is AN IMMORTAL.

5. if i win millions in the lottery i will ____

return the money IMMEDIATELY to the gas station and get some gas-station sushi instead. you see what happens to the families of all those lottery winners? they mysteriously disappear the next week.........they mysteriously have "accidents" at Christmas...

you gotta earn money the old-fashioned way. Wil Wheaton winning Jeopardy despite his GAD and chronic depression inspires me.

BONUS: dating costs money: dating apps, outfits, grooming, and the date itself. tell us how you plan to make a great cheap date?

hence the kept-boy route. it seems so easy on TikTok.........the only videos i watch on TikTok are kept-boy videos. i REALLY need to return to L.A....

best cheap date: movies. the best cheap date is a movie, you don't have to wear a mask. unless you go to Rocky Horror. you can be yourself. take her to a movie at 8PM, get out at 10PM, and spend the rest of the night walking alone just the two of you along a promenade with bistro lights next to a beach discussing the film. you'll talk so much you won't see the sun rise. if you're lucky a French street bum will accost you and dazzle her with a piece of his own improv poetry...



Jules said...

1: I think Elon Musk defies this statement but otherwise true.

2: Absolutely not.

3: Knickers. I don’t do sticky gussets.

4: Not really. You find a way. There’s always a demon at a crossroads.

5: Buy Blogger island where we will live together and write one enormous blog.

BONUS: Meet at night at sknny dip o clock on the Polperro beach. *)

the late phoenix said...

1. Elon Musk carried a kitchen sink into the office and destroyed 2000 years of human civilization...

2. i just need enough money to buy one Powerball ticket...

3. Sticky Gusset: the final stage of The Great British Bake Off

4. a demon in a saloon playing a fiddle

5. oh that sounds nice, where the password is always LUV

BONUS: i'm imagining this right now, mah dahlin, and it's getting me hot. you come out of the water naked like a Bond girl!!!

love you mah dahlin *)

Smu Doodle said...

I am never sure when I buy gas station sushi if it is a death note or just a cry for help.

the late phoenix said...

smu: both. the thing with me is i don't like sushi but there's just that special allure to gas-station sushi...