notes:
* Heidi Holicker: ho licker? come on.
* Charles III: you know why i love my solar Power Cell? when the lights go out over London Bridge i can still have my vanilla ice cream, my house is TRULY my castle...
Kurt Cobain: with the lights out, i use that Bell & Howell garage light to play basketball at night...
* Pete Davidson: i apologize for.........wait no these old Taco bell breakfast ideas WERE WICKED RAD!!! are you kidding me? the thing where the tortilla shell has a yellow egg yolk in the middle of it, that's something out of Back to the Future!!! and the waffle shell? THE FUCKING WAFFLE SHELL?!!! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!
Palestine to the British government: even if you do acknowledge it and say sorry it's just sorry, it's just words, that doesn't make up for centuries of Imperialism.
* Latuda patient: look, i'm glad i no longer have bipolar depression, but i'll be honest, my art sucks now. no no no, i'm not going outside to do sidewalk chalk, that brings back many gnarled memories. i mean i LIKE the fog, i like getting a fishwich and eating it on the red Golden Gate Bridge swinging my legs over the bridge on a foggy morning...
* Target: isn't it humiliating when grandpa beats you in Mario when it's the first time he's ever played video games?
toaster ovens: WHAT THE FUCK!!! we were air-frying your fries WAY BEFORE Ninja!!!
* toaster oven: see? even Childish Gambino form Atlanta has no idea what to do with an air fryer!!!
woman: what did you DO in your life that it would deposit you HERE?!!!
Jesse Eisenberg: i was fake friends with David Foster Wallace...
* Peter Gabriel for Toyota: into the great wide open uh i mean into the unknown...
newborn baby: WAIT!!! I DON'T WANNA BE IN THIS WORLD!!! it's too scary. what the FUCK is that NOISE?!!!
mom: drills. like your father.
dad: it's a world of endless possibilities and adventures.
baby: the unknown SCARES me, i want STABILITY. i had a LONG conversion with Marilyn Monroe's fetus about this. i'm only going out there if Tom Petty is my pops and Marilyn Monroe is my moms...
* Upwork zombie: all the rules are made up anyway, there is no country of the United States, it's just IBM and DuPont and Exxon and Apple and Tesla and Twitter holding our institutions together. i'm mad as hell and i'm not gonna take it anymore, even if it's my first.
James Bond: yes the next James Bond has to be in his 30s. i'm thinking Pete Davidson. but bring back the cars from On Her Majesty's Secret Service...
zombie CEO: and the yellow flying-ace WWII plane from Hitchcock's North by Northwest. hey, pro-tip from a dead guy: don't drink too much Coke, you'll always feel jumpy and spacey and like you're about to die...
* Apple iPhone Chase
Laertus: yeah. it's easy to shoot a full-length feature film on an iPhone. but you still need to hire actors who aren't your friends so it's still gonna cost millions of dollars. and getting that one Hollywood shot of the chicken doing a flip is not as easy as you think...
* Experian cow: hey John Cena, don't ask me how i am. don't ask me about the fickle nature of time. i'm not brown, you don't deserve chocolate milk you ain't fancy like that. don't ask me if my milk is fresh i'm not in the mood. why wasn't i cast in Rent like you said?
John Cena: cos La Boheme is far superior.
* Kia Telluride: raining paint? great, the redeemed conspiracy theorists will come out in droves now that we've proven that the sky is just a paintjob by government painters at night, the same government that hired Banksy to paint a painting of Parliament...
God: i never wanted the sky to be blue, i wanted the sky to be RED!!!
* Yellowstone ham: only if it's spiral...
* Equinox from Wiktionary: i just want to be one of those Gentlemen League Extraordinaires who invents a word and gets to meet Sean Connery...
* Leader-1 from GoBots: it's weird cos i'm good but i look like Megatron...
* me at Tatiana's barnsy yoga studio in Obec: wearing a sweater in foggy weather gives me worth. it makes me feel dignified, like a real person. people come up to me when i wear a sweater and smile, everyone avoids me like the covid plague when i wear but a T-shirt.
Dirg: because you look like a halfway decent human being with a sweater on.
me: but that's the thing, it's useless. wearing a sweater during a fogstorm is BAD. when the fog is a storm, wearing a sweater in cold foggy conditions is not good, it just makes you sweat more hot sweat...
* One Piece: One Peace, i finally get it.
* Copper Fit: gonna love? wear a copper-infused compression glove...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: GOT THE CAR BACK, BABY!!! you know what that means: LIME MEAT!!! lime cilantro tenderloin with MASHES AND MASHES of avocado at Chipotle!!! am i too late to SUBLIME THE LIME? our long national car nightmare is over.........for now...at least until tomorrow...
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