UPS, WE HARDLY KNEW YE

notes:

* huh. what do i do? the Browse never updated from last week. just a bunch of old memes. if i don't get my commercial fill i turn to the bottle. of Coke.

* Netflix alien: our chunk-chunk is better than Law & Order's chunk-chunk. doesn't matter anymore, i don't watch SVU. nor that other new one. nice butt tho, mean old-man Meloni. i'm that alien from that non-Disney animated movie that bombed. so i bombed the closest planet and invaded the land under its ocean. sorry, Earth. my favorite show is Bridgerton. but WHY did Rege have to leave after the first season?!!! tv doesn't need to follow books!!!

* Brooke Raboutou drinking Nesquik chocolate milk : Bunnies Up. of COURSE i became an Olympic sport-climber, i'm from Boulder.

* me: i shaved my head today.

abbot: not sexy enough, we were looking for the sexy shave, you are hereby kicked out of the monastery.

me: *on my robed knees* what do you want from me? faith? blood on the cross? tears in the holy water?

abbot: we want you to look like Demi Moore.

happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW...

NO ACTUALLY TODAY!!!

what a saga. i didn't live to tell the tale. i hate driving in cars. took two hours to drive from one end of the village to the next. would have been faster walking. we go to McDonalds for the Double Deluxe, the Deluxe Quarter Pounder With Brie and the Deluxe Chicken Sandwich. never buy Coke in a cup when you're driving, it WILL spill all over your vinyl. the machine didn't have ice then it didn't have Coke, then the lid didn't fit. ALL their lids. this is all because the UPS guy came in a truck so quiet nobody heard him not even the birds. he didn't knock on the door just left the note. NEXT Delivery Day...whatever that means, could be tomorrow Saturday or Monday. this all could have been avoided i was present, i'm never present but yoga helps. luckily there's a UPS store walking distance. Eminem inspects the tag and tells me go to CVS down the block it seems like a CVS package. around the corner fudge is made, Gevalia Majestic Roast coffee. a woman hot like Brooke Baldwin dives headfirst like an Olympic swimmer into the pile of packages and cardboard poles and bows but not the mail we want. Macy's Mail? maybe.  

this was more Heavy Metal 2000 than Heavy Metal...