notes:
* Svitolina is dancing to "Feels Good" by Tony Toni Tone at her wedding. on a makeshift collection of clear glass silver squares platform on top of the lobby carpet of the Sheraton. Monfils's groom dress is purple.
Svitolina: that's Elina not Elena. like my moves?
Gael Monfils: yeah what's that called?
Svitolina: the Elaine Benes.
* Gael: i never thought i'd get married, i don't have that outgoing personality.
* Radek Stepanek: i'm the Mineta of tennis.
* Radek Stepanek: i didn't join tennis for tennis. i joined tennis for babes. look at me, i have the greatest personality any man has ever had all time.
Roger Federer: i used to be rad like you. hey buddy can i get a life transfusion from you? can you help me out?
Radek: i am no one's stepfather!
* Salinas High: we made the global news. for exactly all the wrong reasons.
Rubikon: i'm shaking my damn head. the thirstiness of the lapping desire for popularity makes one a lapdog. makes one crazy.
* Skyrizi: wait is that my daughter or my wife?
* Golden Corral: without us you'd forget what cotton candy tastes like.
* Billy Corgan: Clitoricious, the name of my band in grad school.
* Lowe's: are you a woman who wants to ride the leaf-blower pipe the way Beck does in the "Loser" video? don't worry, we no longer sell Roundup...
* Peloton: HOLD IT.........RIGHT THERE.........WITH YOUR LEGS UP.........FOREVER
* Flocus group: there are too may ads, people can't savor them. there should be one Progressive ad a year.
burnout gravelled con dad: my daughter got kicked out of the retreat.
pleasant Stepford mom: for being loud? i love when women are loud.
con dad: no for eating cookies in bed, the monks said they'd kick her out of bed for crumbs if the cookies were Oreos which have the Satanic cross carved in them.
Flo: awkward...
* facebook: screw it, let's talk astrology.........as long as we all agree that astrology is a bogus science.
curly man in silk Three's Company muumuu: my ex is dating a Pisces. so screw it let's talk manifesto uh manifesting.
warmline: you okay there, buddy?
curly: let's talk chakras.
Naruto:...
curly: let's talk 12th House.
Jeff Goldblum: i can get you into Room 6G by the Hudson in NYC by business tonight.
man splayed out on hood of car: NOT LEFT! UP!
henna woman: you need a cleansing ritual, a mikveh bath.
curly: yeah but how do i do that wiccan floating?
* curly: this bath's not blueifying my magic, IT'S SUCKING MY SOUL OUTTA ME!
curly: i was thinking more like i'd start painting clouds.
Madame Pons: can i interest you in a LUSH lifetime leash i mean lease?
* curly: my ex just called me simple, is there a Mereology facebook group?...
* Expedia: we'll give ANYONE a covid vaccine. we'll go ANYWHERE on the globe to administer the shot. even in space.........oh screw it who are we kidding humans are dumb.
* Taco Bell Toasted:
man: i spent all the money i saved my whole life to buy a house on this gaming chair, but it's still a better bed than i had before.
nerd at pool party by the marble statue: can i stay awake? this is the first time i've been near a naked woman in two years.
woman in bed: u up? uup? i got a package? oh a UPS package. i'm ghosting you you ain't my ex you could be ANY Kyle.
Taco Bell: of course this commercial would be moot if we just decided to serve breakfast all day...
* Taco Bell Toasted: we don't look like dicks. sleep is for the weak.
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: the new Sourdough Star at Carl's.
i WOULD happily try the Toasted Burritos from TB but apparently that's just a rare breakfast foodstuff. that they stop serving at 3:53 AM. that's okay i got a toaster at home...
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