THE OLYMPIC ORGY THAT WAS 1984

i mean how lucky was i that i was 6 when the 1984 Los Angeles Games were staged? here i am in the nascent bliss of just starting out as a baby in the '80s Nostalgia Cocoon and my first taste of the Olympics was in my backyard of Los Angeles! i remember everything so crystal-clearly: 

* had a sticker book with Sam the Eagle and that wavy Vaporwave Blue-White-Red Star, traced that star with thin tracing paper and crayoned each line. that is such an '80s star, that star is dancing in an underground NYC nightclub with Madonna Toto Christopher Cross Foreigner Philip Glass and Moroder. moving to the groove. i didn't confuse it with the Muppets Eagle cos i wasn't old enough to watch the Muppets, back when the Muppets were good and unrestrained. i didn't get Olympics Fever, i was indoctrinated into Olympics Fever AND I LOVED IT!!!

* i remember the fever pitch around the Valley but i don't remember those headless bronzed-both-meanings naked statues. i don't think ABC panned the camera to those when i was watching. coulda opened my eyes and doors early. don't let the front distract you, go round the corner and get a load of their bodacious butts.

* Rafer Johnson making history, Disney designing the Eagle cartoon character getting in on that sweet Olympic cash early of course, and that poor marathon woman who collapsed on the Coliseum red-orange Dune dust of the track. we all cramped that day. too bad Roger Federer wasn't born yet to hand her a waterbottle. after that, all rules regarding heatstroke and exhaustion were changed. nothing on mental health tho. and when it came to tennis cramping was still "loss of conditioning" even if the guy was literally dying crying out in agony rolling around on the court.

* was there ever a more perfect structure than the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to host the frickin' Olympic Games? i mean this thing is LITERAL GREEK ARCHITECTURE. with a giant cauldron to boot! that cauldron was MADE for the Olympic Flame! fashioned out of bronze bowl. guy on a jetpack at the Opening Ceremonies who later starred in Liz Phair's '50s acid-washed music videos. Lionel Richie at the Closing Ceremonies singing "All Night Long" LITERALLY ALL NIGHT LONG for 11 minutes, there is a shard of memory of that in my mind along with Lionel singing to a bust of himself in art class, his face made up of square Starburst candies.

* the Great Western Forum was literally where they did the Romans and lions thing a minute ago, it was a Bank of America on the weekends.

* that's why we were so successful and pulled in a $250 million profit, all the stuff was already there. 7-Eleven bought out McDonalds and be honest, when you saw Michael Jordan playing for USA Basketball that year did you have ANY idea of how big he'd get? if it wasn't for the Olympics there would be no Happy Meals in my life.

* that newspaper stand with the papers is charged in so many ways. Don's Plum had the Olympics on the bar-bistro tv.

* the Olympic Torch relay MATTERED back then, people would line their neighborhood streets watching it, get off work and school to do it.

* Mary Lou Retton, the first time you ever heard of gymnastics. she made it possible for Americans to love Romanians again, the two girls got together she and Nadia and orchestrated a summit to stop the coup whereby the 10s were exchanged for nuclear peace.

* this was in the middle of that little spat we had with the Soviets. all that Red Dawn stuff.

* John Williams, first time with his "Fanfare" music. that theme is ingrained in you now. a variation on the Star Wars Theme.

* the Mary Decker v. Zola Budd thing. featured as stickers on packs of Garbage Pail Kids.

* BRING BACK WINDSURFING!!! IT WAS?! I MISSED IT WHAT CHANNEL WAS IT ON?!!!

* i still have those nude-archer ultra-rare Los Angeles 1984 program guides. a woman in a headband's huge bare tits pressed against the cover of the newspaper. i mean my uncle does. i mean he did. now i'm the weird uncle. ink stains everywhere.

* this was the last time Olympic Spirit was a thing. a real quantifiable thing. a feeling in the air. felt in YMCAs and bars and diners and assembly lines.

* what can i say? things end. ceremonies end. deep-root relationships end leaving you careening into the future with gnawing uncertainty, hovering hurt, and biting sadness. no idea what you are going to do next. no idea with whom. there is nothing better than seeing Karch Kiraly cry. tears of joy. invest in people and they will come back to earn you a gold medal someday, that's the lesson here. even if it takes like 30 years. or you could become a drifter the rest of your life, a Degrassi drifter like Wheels.