Monday, July 5, 2021

TMIT: THE MONTEREY BAY AQUARIUM'S OPEN!!! BRING YOUR WETSUIT!!!




now it's time for all of us to kiss the Pope instead.

1. are you happy with the number of people you have slept with?

no. i want to sleep with every single person on the planet. Trent Reznor sang about this.

2. tell us a random fact about yourself:

i'm not really here

3. would you say you have an excessive need for stimulation and are you prone to boredom?

i have an Instagram. i check that Instagram every single second i'm not eating. and especially when i'm drinking. 

to me, boredom is worse than death. in fact boredom IS death. to stave these dank feelings i talk to my friend Chad Reynolds on the coil telephone. he lives in Canada but it's no cost cos we use MCI on a Dell phone:

Chad Reynolds: i had no idea this was going on between us. that that was happening, our countries are usually such good friends. let me cross the border, i got Taco Bell not from Mexico but from Canada. there is no Taco Bell in Mexico. of course i am essential!!! YOU CAN ONLY GET MAPLE SYRUP FROM CANADA!!!

4. do you have a history of promiscuous sexual behavior or wish you had?

i want to fuck. but nobody wants to fuck me. i need to find someone who gets soap operas. gets soap operas like i do. as in, lives soap operas in real life.

5. how do you cope with a sex drought? 

drink water

a) masturbation
b) sex droughts don't bother me
c) try not to think about sex

masturbation's lost its fun for me. the new Green Day album was surprisingly great!

BONUS: if you were a wave in the ocean would you be rough or calm?

i'd be gray. a gray wave. a Spalding Gray Wave.






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