I QUIT MY JOB AS CFO AND BECAME AN ECLIPSE-CHASER

notes:

* Dave Grohl: i don't get it. suddenly i'm Fauci 2.0? i'm universally hated after being universally loved? i hate to remind you but i played with a little guy known as Kurt Bean. go see What Drives Us, it's the coolest documentary around! vans have such a bad reputation nowadays. i am a Cro-Magnon man with a beard, a puny beard. hell yeah Foo Fighters are punk rock!!! i mean we're not, like, Dead Kennedys punk rock but we punk rock.

* Takahashi: Queensryche Unplugged, only watch this if you're sitting in a Round Table Pizza.

Laertus's dad: in Arcadia, California in the '80s. next to Dragon Man.

Dragon Man: i don't get drunk, i get strunk.

* Advil Gels, downing two with a swig of Coca Cola Classic, it just isn't the same as taking Vanquish with Coke, the two whites blended together like faux cut cocaine

* mom: this 4th of July, the savings will be big. but not as big as my PHAT AZZ! you talkin perennials? take a look at the perennial pulchritude of my derriere and gleam in its cubism.

* can H.E.R.'s version  of the National Anthem replace the original National Anthem for all of time in every sporting event and classroom in this country and the Olympics?

* Black Widow: you the bitch who killed Ephram from Everwood? fuck you!!!

* Georgia Kernell: a kilcher, a love lost, a love-up, IP just starting out, a decidedly unGeorgia gender, a volcanic palmleaf, a lifelong regret. such is life i suppose. my life at least. everything for me just turns into another story i have to write. i wasn't mature enough back then...

* oh sure, the ONLY trailer unavailable is Space Jam: A New Legacy...

* Spielberg's Duel for the Gen Z generation

* daredevil: so i did the flat spin stunt but there was no clapping afterward. it was weird. is anybody out there?

Phoenix: you were great. you can't fly as high as me but you were great. i fly without wings. who filmed you?

daredevil: i used a smartphone tripod.

Phoenix: yeah those tripods will break your heart.

* Snake Eyes: no i'm not in the Mortal Kombat tournament. no this isn't Kung Fu on the CW where they put the entire season on the big screen and squeeze 13 episodes into two hours. can we please have a G.I. Joe show that actually COMPLETES NATURALLY!!!? not even the '80s show finished the way it wanted to!  

Emilia Clarke: finally i'm working again!!! what took so long?

Snake Eyes: about that. sorry, babe, but the producers just told me in my snake-ear that your character dies in the end. but my haircut kinda makes me look like Seth MacFarlane tho, right?

CLICK HERE AND BLT BROWSE

happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: the BLT burger at Carl's. i'm scared tho cos at Carl's Jr the B in BLT stands for a second helping of burger...