no SNL. don't get me wrong, i love SNL. i obsess over SNL. but a man needs to breathe on the weekends.........when there's no SNL i watch old SNLs from the '70s and '80s at Blockbuster...
2. what is the craziest job you would consider taking?
Sbarro regional manager. cos deep down i always wanted to work at the mall as my afterschool job in high school. what more could you ask for? Orange Julius to the right of me, Hot Dog On A Stick to the left of me, Time Out arcade to the back of me, and i fuck Mrs. Fields in front by the fountain. and the rats, all the rats.........the mall rats...
3. where would you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of 1 to 10?, 10 being the best ever:
3. where would you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of 1 to 10?, 10 being the best ever:
i've never kissed anyone. i've only fucked them. and they've fucked me over, so it didn't work out for either party. that's when i decided i would never enter politics again. they say you should practice kissing on your elbow but i've found it's best to practice kissing on a banana in the backstage of a high-school production of The King & I...
4. what do you like most and least about your significant other's cooking?
i'm French so he yells at me and calls me a pig: this is our foreplay. he slaps my face with his spaghetti fish. and then Gordon rips off his chef coat and tall hat and doesn't get into the tub like all his other reality shows but rather starts orgasming at the top of his lungs and his whole body turns golden and sparkly...
i had an Anthony Bourdain spaghetti dish once, it made me cry back then cos it was so out-of-this-world but now it makes me cry for other reasons...
5. how has smartphone photography changed your world?
i mean this really is incredible, this really has changed the game. i don't have to go to art school anymore! sure everyone wants to get into USC Film School and do an episode of Imagemakers for KQED but it's dang expensive! now all you need to make a movie is one Samsung with the Dolby inside, the quality is cinematic!
BONUS: what is a good life? i ship Kristen Bell and Ted Danson...
2 comments:
Oh the things that go on backstage at high school theatrical productions. Then the whole troupe trooping off to Orange Julius after practice. But I digress with your very apt memory assist. Cheers.
Orange Julius was THE drink of the '80s, nothing compared to it, it was the mall life, the glass squares, the tang, the foam.........when i tried to recreate it a month ago i got drunk cos i used too much vanilla extract...
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