notes:
* Laertus: i would LOVE for Caitlyn Jenner to win! that would be HISTORIC!!! but why you gotta be Republican? and a Bump Republican at that? it's not like Arnold where even though as he speaks he's brandishing a broadsword longer than his mansion you always get the sense he's not crazy.
* Dirg: the only good thing about SVU is when they practice de-escalation on a Broadway stage, that's the only acting on the show that's real.
Amy Tan: why aren't I a detective on this show?
Eye Luggage: what a well-written script! the woman representing all of us in covid deserves an Emmy. and of course Benson is the only one who can talk down a hostage, she's done all of them.
Tennessee Williams: i'm not alive till i hear that click. i rode the dolphin who has eaten the dinosaur. there is no greater joy in this life than drinking an RC cold in an African hut with your cat cos the tab fell off. honey would you fetch me my snuffbox out of that casket?
Laertus: what a BRILLIANT depiction of what covid is:
it's like we're all in the afterlife, we can see each other, we are here but yet we are NOT here, we can't touch, we can't hug for proof of life.
Rubikon: who would refuse a hug from Mariska Hargitay?
Dr. Fauci: are you real right now? only if you're vaccinated.
Dr. Vacc: and only if you were on tv in a '70s cop show.
* Rambo: there is no need for me in France. ever. but before i shuffled off to my next war, i am a professional soldier after all, i put down my machine-gun and picked up my baton. when i was in China i slipped a little Beethoven in the communist chant before i was recognized and had to escape the red auditorium, i plunged my jeep and crashed it outside. April from TMNT was there waiting for me her arm outstretched her other arm holding onto the rope ladder hanging from the depressed helicopter. this was as good a time as any to ask her:
Rambo: am i cute?
April makes the face where her lips turn into an X
* Dirg: the German gymnasts are gonna win all the gold medals.........and Sports Illustrated won't show it.
* Flo: this is our Seinfeld commercial.
* Flo: we have the sticker up, where's Lady Gaga?
* woman: isn't something wacky supposed to happen now?
Richard Dreyfuss: i was able to call off the SWATting at your mansion this time but i won't always be around. somedays i'm aboard an alien ship.
* Joey Fatone: i went down to downtown L.A. and legally changed by last name at City Hall to Fat One. i told the clerk
only want a space
i can take a joke.
* Lance: i only did this cos i thought i was going be the first gay Bachelor...
* Rodney: read the room. live life like an actor, always have 3 different things prepared to say at any one time.
* Justin Timberlake: it's obvious why i'm not there. wait who's the other guy?
* Carisi: i would be with Rollins but we're taking a long break so Meloni can get his bearings. so blame Meloni for all the squashed shipping.
* Phoenix: i can't see Joey Fatone. i can't UNSEE Joey Fatone! all those bitter memories flooding back in of what The Hub could have been. sigh. what if we had gotten another season of Spooksville? then all of our questions would have been answered! what if The Haunting Hour really was an hour! okay the Transformers stuff yeah you know i actually could use a Transformers break, give me a rest of about one to two years then i'll come back to Transformers.
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: see it's either Taco Bell for potatoes but i've had their potatoes before. or Wendy's cos i need a BIG burger not just a burger, a SQUARE burger that's a square meal.
OH YEAH ALMOST FORGOT: there's no suspense here, Nomadland will win. darkhorse? Jena Friedman writer of the Borat movie!!!
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