notes:
* Phoenix: brutal week, Coke, you FINALLY did the right thing but i was seriously considering the boycott. ME. ME!!! ME AND COKE!!!
* Doryce: see, dear? this man needs four eggs despite the empty carton.
Bryson: it's lean bacon tho. can bacon really be lean?
Gladyce: don't let all that protein go to your head, muscle dear, you need that space for your cyberbrain...
Bryson: Paige Spiranac sends out her daily tweet of my performance and somehow that's a news article...
AV Club: not just on our site...
Bama: i'm not jealous of other beefy B male...
* *practicing at the Masters dinner which no one is allowed to see*
Tiger: it's just meat and potatoes...
* Martin Yan: i oil my club...
* man at subway: six feet...
woman: sorry.
man: six-foot putt...
woman: you're using an umbrella...
man: i was so into it i forgot about the umbrella...
* John Stamos: ER was my best-ever work for television...
* Phoenix: are we crazy? yes. but it's not our fault, God is crazy. the gods must be crazy but god is crazy. also, when you take a drone's-eye view, the whole concept of professional sports is ridiculous...
* Maxine Gullo: i didn't let racial epithets bring me down. i built this city on electronica! because of me you sit in that cushy house in Obec, bitch! that gullwing DeLorean is mine and i'm sending all you red meatheads back to 2020!
* i need to tell you this in an all-nite cafe under neon light: i saw your car fly away...
* btw Denny's is open indoor dining.........i don't know if that's a good thing...
* Bryson: drawing lines on your clubface isn't cheating, i need to know the specific angle...
* i can't tell which is which! which is the club and which is the brush!
* Paige Spiranac: stop looking at my top! that was my secret gymnastics move for the Masters!
Nastia Liukin: did it already, honey. you're already retired? it's still gonna be called the 2020 Olympics...
* Bryson: everyone on tour hates me cos i killed golf. made it safe for robots. so my only friend is this Wilson golfball i drew a smileyface on...
* the blond hunk from Days of our Lives who had to sing Christmas carols the day after 9/11...
* Bob Odenkirk: see this?
Craig Robinson: overdue library book?
Bob: the menu.
Craig: i see tiffany lamps behind you, the menu is pizza.
Bob: this is Ms. Driscoll's Pee Chee!
Craig: what's inside?!
Bob: all her dates. we saw firsthand all those men enter and leave her house after school...
* can we go back to offices with cushy orange flatbeds for tables?...a siesta not 5 Hour Energy improves performance...
* the BART subway is open indoor dining.........i don't know if that's a good thing...
* Jordan Spieth: notice how i dropped the we and only speak as i now...i wasted too many of my good years, this is all about ME now, bitch!
* Zalatoris: i am Sean Penn before politics. i did NOT work out with Bryson. i'm the lead singer of Silverchair but my first album is still hot! i went surfing and my board broke me in half...
* Prince Philip: had a few racial gaffes but it was the War. i had the best grandfatherly smile in the world...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: A1 burger at Carl's, A1 sauce, cos they only serve steak at the clubhouse...
since Rory is a lost cause and his glory years are already behind him *heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy heavy sigh* i'm rooting for Cameron Champ, the man with the brilliant name! HIS win would be Tigeresque considering the times we live in now...
No comments:
Post a Comment