Monday, March 22, 2021


no other place i'd rather be on this day than here with my friends. sure but we're all air in the end. how old? i lost count when i died...

1. what was your first job?

i held the 7-Eleven coke-smoothie with one hand and onto the bar for dear life with the other. it was so cold in my hand but i couldn't let go and drop it on her head. i was the lookout. all i saw for miles was a curb and dark track, it was night. when i finished i didn't feel a thing. under the bleachers. who won the football match? fuck if i know, but we were a football school. is it weird that there was a 7-Eleven in the grassy area of our high-school track oval?  

2. in your next life what will be your job? to figure out if the afterlife is real.

3. what's a favorite item in your workspace and why?

my electric can-opener. cos it doesn't work. it has never worked. i use it to crush walnuts. and my coworkers' walnuts.

4. what can you not stop thinking about? how i wasted my entire life.

5. what are you holding onto that you cannot let go?---a person, a show, an item, a career, a book, anything

no, Taylor Swift! no, Frozen! the one that got away. we were supposed to become a husband-and-wife Hollywood writing team. we were supposed to help each other out with our auditions. she'd read for me, i'd read for her. see that's how you get parts, NOBODY who goes into an audition room cold and alone gets the role. 

we were supposed to do the revival of iCarly. i'm writing Sam as the reason she's no longer there with her friends and Spencer is she realized that this whole internet thing has destroyed society and ruined her life, all Sam wants to do is leave Hollywood, quit show-biz, and reunite with her mother...

BONUS: do you have a twitter problem?

thankfully i became addicted like meth to Instagram not twitter, which is nicer. Jack Dorsey came up to me one night on his skateboard riding on the grass of the track oval after practice saying i should try something: it was hidden in his beard, a dimebag of meth. 

Jack Dorsey: so, can twitter buy up Instagram? steal it from facebook? 
me: look, Jack, i told you, i'm just a high-school student.
Jack Dorsey: i saw you jangling change in your pocket earlier. Pac-Man after school? vending machine? there's these new coins that are spongy to the touch, dinosaurs used them back in the day...


TMI Tuesday said...

1. that would be weird but high-schoolers would love it

3. If I had nuts I would not want to be your co-worker.

5. Should I watch iCarly??

Happy Birth Week!!!


Jules said...

1: Goddess
2: Goddess
3: The green notebook
4: Why am I not famous?
5: This is us
Bonus. No, I have a Twatter problem *)

the late phoenix said...


1. the only thing better than a Coke is a Coke Slurpee

3. i got a new electric can-opener today! now everyone at work wants to eat my nuts

5. oh yes, that show burst on the scene and became a phenomenon, it had great writing for a kid's show. the reboot tho......iffy...

thank you, my friend, and thanks again for the video, you know what i like!

the late phoenix said...

mah dahlin:

1. Oh My Goddess!

2. in the next life everyone's a god or goddess...

3. i want to see your Green Notebook, we must compare notes!!!

4. SAME! i've been grinding for 20 years!

5. the guy dies, right?

BONUS: you gotta get off twitter, mah dahlin, it's just a toxic cesspool

love you *)

TMI Tuesday blog said...

Now I know I must watch just to check out the iffy robot :D


Smu Doodle said...

Now just imagine that first job in a world before 7-11's and not a football school. That was my first purple barrel "job"

the late phoenix said...

TMIB: reboot robot! actually i do faintly remember a robot in the background of the iCarly set, one of those silver big-box deals with the accordion arms

smu: i don't want to imagine a world before 7-Eleven. it was bad but at least it wasn't a lacrosse school. i'm with you, the first time i finished i heard Prince in the background and it changed my life...