Monday, July 20, 2020

TMIT: STEPDAD JOKES





1. what movie can you watch over and over and never tire?

my home movies. but if we're talking Hollywood gotta go with the greatest film of all time: Wings of Honneamise. that's animated OR non! you thought i was gonna say Wings from 1927, huh

if it's strictly non-animated, it's gotta be Lars's Melancholia. right? there will never be a mood, an atmosphere created like that again. everyone now is rentng his Epidemic from the last Blockbuster Video.

now the film that you watch and never tire of cos you keep discerning new clues and sight gags from and upon each repeated viewing is, well, Inception. and the Star Wars Holiday Special. Bea Arthur does that thing with her lips...

2. who is someone you only met once but they left a big impression on you?

me. in a bad way. granted i met myself when i was in a bad way. oh and Gandhi wearing a Nirvana shirt in my lucid dream...

3. if you had to run away from everyone, where would you hide yourself?

the monastery. scratch that, the hermitage. scratch that, Fort Knox. where all the government scratchers are stored. from the California Lottery. scratch that, where Jerry hides from Tom. scratch that, wherever my galavanting global girlfriend wants to go...

4. what is the worst topping to put on pizza?

pineapple. cos you know there's no going back after that. you have to entertain her after dinner. in your bed. you have to perform. suddenly the flopsweat starts forming on your brow...tasty cum is a curse...

5. what do you spend most of your time doing?

trying to figure out how the fuck i get out of my situation...

BONUS: if you could pick any animal to talk, which would it be?

i want Scooby-Doo with a PhD in Speech Therapy. Noops, Tex, Talia, Trinity. i want Garfield to SPEAK those beautiful thoughts of his, TALK, GARFIELD, TALK!!! i want that brown cow over there over the fence to come up to me and with his hoof hit me in the stomach for all of humanity's callous puns about him and his family. and then the brown cow explains to me the truth behind all those methane farts...

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2 comments:

Bathwater said...

I think I still spend most of my time wasting time! or trying to get laid, or thinking about getting laid.....

the late phoenix said...

same. and for me also trying to figure out this new newfangled blogspot setup which almost gave me a !@#$%^&*()_+ heart attack