notes:
* Red Sox Babe Ruth: the ghost kid from Three Men and a Baby is in MY dugout. call me bambino one more time and see what happens, i DARE you to call me a baby again...
Jim Thorpe: i can't work with these three stooges...
* dad: lucky penny on the tile of you own home bathroom, the LUCKIEST lucky penny of them all...
* Rafael Nadal: i got a NEW HIP, bambinos!!! watch out, boys, my knees are METAL now, i got STEEL KNEES. i got METAL ENDURANCE, i'm gonna start winning everything again...
* Hope at Lucky: we got a sale on MilkBones.
Julie Patzwald: those MilkBones are so cute and soft and Comedy-Big. but the dog-owners terrorize Carmel, they're always around at 7:30AM plugging up every path, loogy-ing every lane,
Lou Gehrig: ...
Julie Patzwald: clogging up the causeways and tunnels, sitting on every sidewalk and street.
Dennis Weaver: yellow schoolbus parked in the Lucky parking lot with the name of the school blacked out, never a good sign...* Boc on his walk: i looked at you by not looking at you.
stranger coming up the steps of The Barnyard at 7:30 in the morning: if you stare at me i'll stare at you. i saw you see me, it's already too late.
Boc going downstairs: i don't want to look at you, man!!! it's just it's kinda hard when you're lugging around a giant ball of unwashed laundry where your stomach should be.
* Port Charles: soap operas were better when they were 30 minutes...
* Kurt Cobain: Nick Cave is a good one.
Nick Cave: not good one as in a funny joke, good one as in a good person.
* Antarctica: the flag of Antarctica is cool...
Antarctica: the one that looks like a rhinoceros...
* Dennis Weaver: send all these trucks AWAY from the house opposite our house!!!...
* Fuerza: God is an anime tech God. a tech-anime God.
Optimus Prime: no, God is Love...
Hayao Miyazaki: anime is alluring...
* Bruce Lee: um, where was the suicide net on the Golden Gate Bridge 87 years ago?!!!...
* Braswell: the bras fit well.
Mardith: a bra NEVER fits well on a woman, stripper or non-stripper...
* Andre Braugher: i will live forever because i get my Walgreens meds DELIVERED...
* Liv Lisa Fries: i love fries. especially McDonald's fries.
Freud: the salt in McDonald's fries can NOT give you oral cancer.
* Hawaiian diner: the place is tucked away next to the highway entrance between a Jack In The Box and a Grocery Outlet.
Leslie Sbrocco: they have forked buns over there. if you know what i mean. they forked my buns down there and i liked it. you know what? one of these days on Check Please we're just gonna have to review the Jack In The Box...
* Dennis Weaver in Duel: is this what it means to be a man? to protect one's manhood? to guard against becoming a woman?
Steven Spielberg: yes. men make movies...
* Lana Del Rey: every time i close my eyes it's like a dark seaside. especially when i'm in Seaside, California...
* Kyle Brandt: you need therapy, not another thematic night.
* Boc: is there anything to pray for anymore? sure there is: no dogs.
piglet dogs on a double-leash: come on we're cute.
Boc: i prefer grey seagulls...
carwash: this carwash has been dead for 4 years but at least our lights work. the red flashing streetlight next to us that hasn't been fixed in 4 years...
* the Devil: 6 is not demonic. 6 is not evil. 6 is not bad. 6 is sex.
* Christopher Cross: what would happen if Chris Cross and Bob Ross fucked?
Bob Ross: we would birth the Star Child from 2001: A Space Odyssey...
Oscar Wilde: my mother said i was a bigger baby at birth than the Star Child. i was born at the same hospital as Oliver Twist...
* Oliver Twist: please sir, i want some more.........no, not more Twisted Tea...
* Lana Del Rey: i approach the subject of ultraviolence more truthfully than any heavy-metal band.
Alex DeLarge: better than i did. i have trouble opening up. i have a hard time opening up...
* me: can i live the PBS way in real life? can i imbue each and every MOMENT of life with the SWEEPING-EPIC ROMANTIC GRANDEUR of All Creatures Great and Small?...
Bruce Lee and Lindy Lenz: that's what we're trying to do as a couple...
* Simon Rex: Shipley Do-Nuts, the food that fueled Red Rocket...
* Rocket Money: i get it, jogger girl, i have a phobia when it comes to making calls, too. i can't call anyone anymore.
Lucio: when i call someone i always feel like i'm gonna get tricked...
* MOT test: um, Link, look at our symbol.
Link: so THAT's why i couldn't find the Triforce!!! you hoarded the Triple Triforce here on Earth!!!
MOT: real-life horde.
George Orwell: Ministry of Transport? sounds Orwellian...
* Planet Fitness.
Megan Thee Stallion: this is a Judgement Free Zone. but you can still call me a hotty.
Mother Goose: you're Mother Fitness? i haven't worked out in 400 years, that's why i'm always pictured wearing a LONG skirt.
Fuerza: Megan Thee Stallion, you're me but cooler.
Madame Pons: if i were like Megan Thee Stallion, my daughter Mardith would talk to me and tell me what's REALLY going on in her life...
Megan Thee Stallion: if you're holding a steering wheel, get OUT of that gym. if your membership costs as much as your brain surgery, get OUT of that gym. imspo needs no ring-light nor dog cafe...
* Target: the Target is the red ball from '80s handball against a brick wall you used to play at that parochial school...
* O Tannenpalm: comprehensible in any language...
happy weekend, my babies.
TOMORROW: i mean this could very well be my only shot to get the Pretzel Baconator. is reactivating my DoorDash account after so long worth it? will it actually BE on the DoorDash menu? for under $50? cautious celebration. for once i'm entering a Wendy's and it's not about Kathryn...
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