Monday, January 2, 2023



1. who in your family is most likely to be attacked by a bear? my yogi named Yogi. by Cocaine Bear!!! Cocaine Bear, that's gonna be one wild movie.

2. when using a urinal, where do you look? i can't look at my penis.

3. when was the last time you actually spoke with a telemarketer? i tell my telemarketer all my problems. that i can't connect with anyone...

4. which vegetable would make a decent weapon? beetroot are like poison darts.

5. do you clap at the end of an airplane flight? of course yes you gotta, right? you should always applaud whenever you survive, whenever you get to live life longer. i must confess i draw inspiration from that Progressive commercial with the good doctor who tells his mental patients gathered at the movie theater that you don't need to clap at a movie because no one who made the movie is there...

BONUS: New Year's Resolutions, did you make any? 

is it possible to live life without a computer?.........


Jules said...

1. Definitely me. I’d be too mesmerised by the beautiful nature around me that I wouldn’t see it coming.
2. For my glasses.
3. When I asked them if they knew how long it took to have a back molar removed with a hair grip.
4. A parsnip
5. No. I unfasten my seatbelt.

Bonus: Be my authentic self *)

the late phoenix said...


1. you are more mesmerizingly beautiful than any Nature around you, you're in fact Mother Nature

2. that's a sticky situation

3. i've done that too to my teeth and i don't even have any hair. 3 root canals is enough, i can't take no more. i was supposed to get my gums cleaned at the dentist's, scrape off all that lifelong hardened plaque, both hemispheres, but i opted to buy a cheap water-flosser at CVS instead

4. parsnip hair grip

5. turbulence is natural

BONUS: i don't know who i am anymore, my sweet, i lost myself 3rd year of college at Ned's Bookstore in Berkeley and haven't found that man since...

love you