notes:
* The Pope: climate change is real. in order to combat it we must do so as a COLLECTIVE. it's easy to say fuck the world. every night when i'm handing out the Eucharist in those cute little thick wafers to random people who form a line, i'm praying to God, imploring him telling him FUCK THIS WORLD. but it's our only home. people suck, no amount of Confession will ever change that. oh who are we kidding, we're OLD!!! we're old fuddy-duddies and i say this as a woman!!! i feel sorriest for those poor Indians who live in the Amazon Rain Forest, they were the only ones living life THE RIGHT WAY!!! only the CHILDREN can save Earth now. the only good part of climate change is i get to sunbathe nude on top of the roof of Peter's Church in the Vatican Basilica where there is no bathroom...
* boy from Monsoon Wedding: the complexities of a dance routine cannot be overestimated.........it's like an eddy out there.........i'm not fat i have a dancer's body.
* Prakash Worldwide: jock sniffer? no, i lost my sense of smell during covid. you see i wanted to be Rafa Nadal.........and i wanted to be Anthony Bourdain...
* Genie Bouchard at The Tennis Channel: i won that match against Ali Riske.........but i didn't mention that, i was being humble, i was being Canadian, that's how i have to be on TV. now on Twitter and Instagram i can be my true rude self...
* Kuhikugu: looks like a Stouffer's french-bread sausage pizza...
* Jacques Pepin: i NEVER prepare salad on my cooking show...
* Ray Rusaw: i'm the nude bike valet at my bike chalet where i park the sleighs.........at the North Pole.
* Youth 83: M83's younger brother...
* Labor Day Weekend: seriously i never get this, why do so many people travel on Labor Day Weekend? they go on expensive trips, expensive trips around the world. WHO HAS THE GODDAMN TIME?!!! it's the START OF SCHOOL!!!
* shivering over school, shivering over those First Days of School, Sept. 1 or Sept. 6...
* Mary Carillo: Serena Williams is the greatest athlete of all time.........and she also put my kids through college, that cannot be overstated...
* Caroline Wozniacki commentating for ESPN: Madison Keys's forehand is able to just TEE OFF.........sorry, Rory McIlroy flashback...
* Greykid: okay i love this Samsung commercial. the cat is adorable and looks like Trinity i mean Mlem i mean Blep.
Eckhart Tolle's cat Toily: i'm actually gray away from the light.
Toily: all cats smile with their tongues.
Greykid: you know this is an artsy Upper West Side loft cos it has on glass tables large heavy white tomes for books full of pictures with large Roman-Numeral lettering carved in the spine the word FAVLKNER.
* Leonardo da Vinci: geometry is about cooking. flying is about soccer. Vitruvian Man is a mover. the first Steve Jobs black sweatshirt was made of fiber, ROUGH fiber...
* T-Mobile
ginger kid: look, just because Ed Sheeran is Ed Sheeran doesn't mean EVERY piano prodigy has to have red hair!!! yeah that's not Rocky Horror Picture Show, that's Repo! The Genetic Opera. FUCK REPO MEN!!! THEY'RE NOT JUST DOING THEIR JOBS!!!
* Honda: we did toy bikes and they said do a toy motorcycle that's street-legal. we did Formula 1 and they said do Formula 1 without any gas.
George Jetson: hey you better make a flying car soon, I'M ALREADY BORN!!!
* Latto Burger King: that's Burger Queen.
me: okay i'm digging this as in dig, i like the garden inside her foyer. working 9 to 5 while going to school?!!! please, i can take no more shivering.
* VMAs gum: yeah i mean the VMAs now.........just aren't the VMAs then, there's not the EXCITEMENT anymore. the last thing you did before school started. the show everyone was talking about on The First Day of School, buzzing about, wondering where Eddie Vedder got that gray-green Army jacket...
* Clearblue at NYU Film School.
woman: hey rip that GOOD VIBES ONLY poster off the wall, i don't need that kind of energy in here right now. this is serious. if i'm pregnant i'm fucked, my life is ruined, my life is over, i have to withdraw from school and become a nobody again. Leonardo DiCaprio was NOT worth it.
woman's dorm roommate Janeane Garofalo: i tried to warn you, honey. James Franco will only be worth it THIS semester as he's lecturing on the CliffsNotes he wrote...
woman: it's a good thing i didn't go to Arizona State...
* Kane Brown: Kanye West is FORCING me to do country music.........the Artemis Rocket launch has been scrubbed for the FINAL TIME cos i've already been on the moon visiting Kanye...
sad weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: i get my car back...
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