notes:
* Britain is now rudderless.........like me.
* Queen Diana: now that you're here i'd like a word with you. this won't be a Tea or anything but maybe a few LEMON scones.
Queen Liz: i told you i was sorry. what more do you want from me? my marmalade sandwich has melted in my handbag and is now my soggy bottom. i'm with Phil now that's all that matters.
Queen Diana: i mean think about it, on THIS day it was supposed to be QUEEN DIANA!!! imagine that: QUEEN DIANA!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING COOL!!!
* Suzanne Vega: my song "In Liverpool" is about me really wanting to fuck a monk. but only AFTER he becomes a monk thus becoming unattainable which would make the sex in the belfry that much more hot. very much the life story of Phoenix...
* Suzanne Vega: it's also about me wanting to do a hunchback but that's a story for another day. i loved climbing the rope in gym class and there'd be a church bell at the top...
* Janny Assiminios: i have every right to be in the queue as you do too. i've assimilated, i come from the Greek Isles, like my great-uncle George Stephanopoulos who's great and my ancient ancestor. the Greek Isles are part of the Commonwealth innit. look there are times when you get ONE CHANCE IN LIFE to make something happen, i'll never have the opportunity to KISS A KING again!!! i am no Michael Fagan!!!
Michael Fagan: i just wanted to be in The Young Ones, i was perfect for that role...
* Vyvyan from The Young Ones: when you look at me the first thing you see isn't the metal stars ON AND IN my face and my general Sex Pistols anti-Thatcher disposition. what you see is that i'm ACTUALLY A MEDICAL STUDENT at this fucking college!!! i mean imagine my Friday nights working hard late into the night burning the midnight oil with my metal medical-experiment tools at the student labs...
* Jillian Clare: it's the last Days of Our Lives ever on broadcast TV!!! it's the end of the Age of Soap Operas. it's the end of soaps.
Madame Pons: ...
Jillian: it's the end of an era!!! much like the Queen. i started on this show as a child. child ator. child actress. it's kinda like how Queen Elizabeth II started on the throne so young...
* Vogue Arabia: we are literally the ONLY VOICE OF FOR AND BY WOMEN in certain regions of the world...
* Liz Truss: i shook hands with Liz. i'm gonna do for bees what Angelina Jolie could not!!!
* MBC at the Long Walk at Windsor Castle: the British do longtables better than the Americans ever could...
* George Stephanopoulos's Good Morning America coffee mug: we're all waiting for the next REAL Zelda game...
* Laertus: oh, i thought those were signed hams, not signed wine glasses, that is the only Yellowstone merch i'd ever get...
* Casper Ruud: i look like Roger Federer.
Roger Federer: speak, young man.
Casper Rudd does an on-court interview.
Roger Federer: YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE ME!!!
* Domino's: gas prices are OFF THE CHARTS!!! like, FIVE DOLLARS A GALLON!!! we heard it was 10-dollars-a-gallon in Britain. inflation makes us hungry for pizza. low prices here at Domino's.........FOR NOW...
* DQ: if your jeans aren't DARK BLUE, we reserve the right to kick you out of the pumpkin patch. it's hay-larious.
woman in dark-blue jeans: don't ever say sesh again...
* Olive Garden: SAUCE IS THE BOSS. our psychiatrist said we were getting too obsessed with the look, feel, color, texture, heat, and smell of Alfredo sauce, it was becoming unhealthy and disturbing...
* Chewy cat: i love my human. notice how i didn't say i love my master or my owner. i really do love him, i'm not just faking it to get a chewtoy, manipulating him into taking my collar off. i can easily scroll a screen with my paw...
Greykid: i like this one.
Toily: cats think chewtoys are beneath them...
* GEICO
Green Hawk: a giant robot downtown? that's good for the environment.
Green Hawk: i'm not The Green Hawk. i'm The Green Phoenix. the Green Hornet name has been so badly damaged and sullied by Hollywood i didn't want to touch that one.
delivery man: delivery for Green Hawk. hot hawk wings with green sauce. you have to pay me in green.
GEICO: CUT. this can't be a GrubHub commercial, too...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: i want to get that BBQ sandwich from Bruno's but that walk through the Obec Carmel woods to grandma's house is a treacherous one. Queen Elizabeth II was everyone's grandma. the Grand Mum. my feet will be all dead and blistered. and i'll get run over by a car which is ironic cos i gots no more car. it comes down to how much is salt and pepper really worth? how much do i need to taste Bruno's salt and pepper?...
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