1. would you rather be attracted to for your body or your mind? i posed this question as part of an extensive interview for Pizzazz Magazine at the Cathouse Cafe in downtown Peoria, the suburban part of town with all the farms. all the ladies in bluejeans in passing conversation, in intense discussion, all told me their dream man was:
Benedict Cumberbatch
NOT for his looks, for his MIND. for his encyclopedic BRAIN. like a steel Sherlockian trap. yes BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR.........i mean look at Benedict Cumberbatch's FACE!!! that's not fair...
2. what would be more embarrassing for you out in public---to be seen tripping or adjusting your "package"?
it matters the package. for instance if you have in your hands a silver rectangular package containing the Nintendo Entertainment System with the Light Zapper, that's useless now in the society of the future.........one can hope one can dream. you need to get the box with the NES Advantage joystick, those were very rare back then. see in my whole childhood i have but one regret: i never got to play with my joystick, my NES Advantage joystick. that thing was so cool but i never got to feel the delicious ball of that stick running betwixt my anticipating sweating fingers.
3. if you are going to be famous what is it for? for SOMETHING, rather than NOTHING. for a book i write. something substantial. a book on how to construct a time machine so you can go back and fix your life...
4. would you rather urinate in a porta-potty or the nearest bush?
i would do ANYTHING to attend Lilith Fair one more time. i'd give Tabitha Soren a GREAT BIG HUG that lasted the three days of the festival. she needs to heal, i need to heal, we could heal together.
i would do anything, even doing doo-doo in a porta-potty. songs=sacrifice, music is messy. even if there were no porta-potties at Lilith Fair. i actually don't remember there being porta-potties at Lilith Fair...
one time i peed in a bush and Homer Simpson yelled out "DOH!!!". the pee hit his yellow bald head, you couldn't tell cos the colors all blended together...
5. what new beginning are you excited about? i'm finally going on that post-pandemic vacation. my trip will take two weeks, i'm walking two blocks to a CVS and back...
BONUS: burrito or tamale?
Deadpool holding a deep-fryer in his hand burning his hand even tho his hand is in a glove: chimichangas.
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