will Tiger play the Masters? yes, yes he will. Tiger Woods will play the Par 3 Contest on Wednesday, that's it. April flowers bring May showers...
1. the month of April is named for Greek goddess Aphrodite. she is associated with lust, love, pleasure, and passion. which one of those states of being do you hope to experience this month? which is most likely to happen?
you know who else is a Greek goddess? Irene Papas. and Jennifer Aniston, although Jennifer's father Victor Kiriakis from Days of Our Lives keeps a tight leash on his daughter, he doesn't let her hang out with her friends...
i had a dalliance with Irene Papas on the pampas of a little-known Greek isle called Mykonos. i licked her naked body like it was a large loaf of bread, right there on the beach. as all dalliances experienced during a European summer go, mine lasted so shortly i thought it was all a dream. i woke up under a tavern table just in time to see Irene leave the island under cover of moonlight on the back of a pack of fleeing fleet-footed foxes...
2. Diamond is the birthstone for the month of April. have you given or received a diamond? under what circumstances?
it was the most beautiful sparkling blue diamond, it shimmered to the touch it was so delicate. i bit down on the diamond with my braces and it tasted like shelled peanuts, it was Blue Diamond peanuts. i was at a baseball game in the '80s...
and then there was the time an entire Pink Floyd concert was broadcast from the diamond on my Pink Floyd shirt...
3. did you play an April Fool's joke this year? what was it?
i sent this Robot Chicken sketch out to all my coworkers in the clandestine shadow organization i work for. they were not pleased. they thought it was an April Fool's prank but that is the actual real sketch. making fun of their texting habits.
4. April 22, 2022 is Earth Day. around the world all sorts of events will take place to celebrate and invest in our planet. what sort of thing might you do for the Earth on Earth Day?
i always stan for Earth Day cos it's always exactly a month after my birthday. the planet-watchers just released a report that basically states that humanity is doomed, we started our global greening efforts too late.
what will i do? well the new roof is on the monastery so that's fresh soil right there to plant black-ash trees and chrysanthemums. it's the perfect location for a rooftop hydroponics lab and gazebo jacuzzi.
BONUS: what odd or strange thing do you keep in your home? me
and a VHS of the Michael Sarrazin SNL episode. Michael Sarrazin is the least-famous host of an episode of Saturday Night Live of all time...this is gonna be a fascinating watch...
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