Corrupting Mrs. Jones and i are still playing TMIT 8 years later. and i wouldn't change a week, i've loved it, keeps my weary mind active, kept me engaged especially during 2020 when there were no other engagements for me even ones i hoped for, gives me something to do, acts as my brainstorm for other writing i do. just a great way to keep my thoughts running without having to swim with the jellyfish and sleep with the jellyfishes which is electrically dangerous...
1. if you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?
a) shinier hair hands down
b) glowing soft skin---pass the moisturizer, dude
c) brighter eyes with no crows feet, i want to look less tired
d) nada, i love what i've got
besides a blowjob i wand Baker Mayfield with a "Smooth Move EXLAX". i then give Baker the wand and shake his elbow with a glove and tell him it's gonna be okay, the Browns will win the Super Bowl next year...
i take a bath at the Irish Spring NOT located near where Homer works despite the janitor, decipher the puzzle of the word Cerave, start an indie band, visit a certain Congressman, and start another indie band cos the first one failed to get a record deal for some reason. i call my new band Nada Surf...
2. if you were spring-cleaning your life what 5 things would you throw out?
first of all i'd get Melissa Maker to help me...
that's my problem, i can't throw anything out, i'm addicted to nostalgia and scared to death that something i throw out will have sentimental value that i'll never be able to recover and write about in a book.
i keep my Aaron Rodgers autographed baseball card in the hopes of going to a con one day and getting Shailene to autograph it (the autograph on it now is mine), keep my The Weeknd mixcassettetape despite the critics, my Fauci glasses, my frisbee i haven't thrown since the '80s cos parks will open again one day and i'll like pie again, and my boxcutter cos i'm gonna KEEP all those cardboard boxes in my bedroom...
3. if money were no object what kind of house would you buy?
i do not object to this. the Super Bowl set The Weeknd had going there. with all the highrises and tall buildings signifying all of us in the world in quarantine. his tribute to Canada and Canada big cities. and the backup dancers no one saw. everyone forgot Willie Nelson was there, too. the reviews are in and most felt the performance had a bad energy to it. but that was just The Weeknd's microphone at the start was turned low you couldn't hear the man, that was obviously sabotage spurned on by a jealous detractor in the shadows named Batman who didn't like how The Weeknd was glamorizing Two-Face...
4. have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor and had a happy ending?
yes. i finally found the time so i took my buddy up with me who runs the New England Patriots. he had a rare Super Bowl weekend free and agreed to tag along with me.........
BONUS: using the handy chart above what is your butt type, spanked or not?
and we do mean "handy"
i love how No Ass At All is English!!!
gotta go with the Spongebob and the van Gogh. i first learned about van Gogh in a Spongebob episode, see all those writers all went to art school...
4 comments:
You know I have so enjoyed your writing, your mind, your amazing riffs. Thanks for being there, sharing, making me laugh, and making me think my friend.
I did not see the superbowl but with your post I feel I have all I need to know. 😁
love you, Hedone, thanks for the support through the years, friends get hard to come by as one gets older and being a writer is already a lonely job
i loved my namesake Patrick Mahomes's fiancee's reaction after:
not the result we wanted but let's have a baby!
Good skin hands down. There is nothing like soft skin. Mine isn't pretty good, especially for my age. Billie had porcelain skin I have not found the equal.
bath: i crave Cerave! i've known a few women whose bodies were made as if casted and carved from porcelain alabaster, but they all lived on Mount Olympus
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