notes:
* i need some meditation now. i need a quiet place to release. i need Joe Pera to guide me how to masturbate, that CDC guidance was too dry
* anyone else have "Present Tense" by Pearl Jam stuck in the back of their head as they watch this?...
* that's snow not a skateboard halfpipe
* you know through this whole thing i've realized i don't know any nurses on Instagram. the only nurse i know is my mom...who's not on Instagram...
* clay pot without the over-the-back sex just isn't the same. sex without pot just isn't sex. that coffee pot was thinned light-brown with water for the show but is now fully beaned and dark-brown for the lockdown...
* people like shows about people: don't tell that to Meerkat Manor. don't tell that to Fraggle Rock.
* don't give adult swim any ideas, Joe…...the next video after this is literally Joe's idea about a show that's just trees for five hours...
* an NBA game done in World Cup format...
* Old Tjikko WAS the world's oldest tree. but damn commercialized Christmas had to get in the way...
* Dave Matthews Band "Crash Into Me", anyone?
* actors are essential. actors are the MOST essential. without entertainment all we have is---gag---politics! crimes and Bigfoot would have never been solved without Unsolved Mysteries, it was the recreations which did it. i mean there are only so many Trader Joe's jobs out there
* did you know Ed Harris was the original Rosemary's baby? Elizabeth Hurley made Hugh Grant depressed. well more depressed than his usual rainy London baseline mood. Hugh took it out on his best friend Kenneth Branagh who in turn took it out on his best girl and the best thing that will ever happen to him Emma Thompson. any timeline which ends in Emma Thompson not getting the most wonderful ribald knightly charismatic honorbound Chaucerian Shakespearean character knave rapscallion full of love joy good cheer and a booming stage voice but not abuse for a suitor is not any timeline i've written!!!
* Natalie Imbruglia blocked me on Insta. if all the lights went green could we THEN have flying cars? surprisingly, most fembots are Republican. could you love someone who was trying to kill you? sure, it's called marriage.
* Waterfall Tv=Disney Plus
* Hum "Green To Me" music video, dog's-eye view
* Joe: did you know toast is bread cooked twice?...
* maple syrup toast=honeycomb toffee wothout the dalgona coffee. whenever i see a bunless hot dog from now on i'm gonna think of Wes Anderson...
* HEY JOE! nice to see your face on my screen again! last time we talked you were dealing with a foreign-exchange student from Greenland or something...?
* i've always wondered, does the horse eat the apple core, too?
* John McEnroe as the chalk line-drawer. lines provide boundary to the boundaryless. if you think hard enough on that you realize all sports are completely arbitrary. even in outdoor churches on a baseball diamond YOU CAN NEVER SING AGAIN
* a line continues forever: unless it's that black paper that was used for Batman in the '90s. Batman always chases down his man...
* and this becomes Electronic Gems...
* i have three uncles. all of them are in the Mafia. Bulbar movie=adult Babar
* i've only stayed up all night and never slept into the next day ONCE. in Sept. cos i had a stupid final in the morning at Berkeley. it's fucked me to this day, my brain chemistry got so out-of-whack i dropped out of college. the only things which separate days is a desk calendar. everything is cyclical except for humans. oh shit, i forgot for a splitsecond but i remember now: i'm gonna die...
* thermodynamics: things are irreversible and always flow. like Elaine Benes.
* the moral arc of the universe bends towards justice: Michelle/Oprah 2020...
* that friend was Sarah, Joe's country girl. ironically, Henry Kissinger never kissed anyone his whole life---there still isn't time. Google Glass was what Sherlock Holmes used...
* Monty Python's Meaning Of Life vibes. turns out Dory from Finding Nemo wasn't well-liked backstage...
* fish are existential...
* axolotl: spoiler: the fish walks in the end...
* axolotls look like hamsters who accidentally fell in the ocean
* Kafka: when a human turns into an animal it's not Kafkaesque, it's real, it's covid...
* Kafka: btw i hate the word Kafkaesque, it's a copout...
* the Sobe lizard described his own décor...
* i was debating whether to use that famous pic of wise Japanese monkeys taking a natural sauna and photoshopping Joe's head to it...
* like that The Shivering Truth fence...
* the only species that doesn't like apples are cheating teachers...
* animals go for the fermented apples to get drunk. humans couldn't leave apples well enough alone, they were God's perfect creation, they had to make it cider. then they had to make it HARD cider...
* that's what caused Jesus to leave the shepherding business and climb down the mountain...
* if you could be anywhere in the whole world where would you be?: happy.
* beer is used in Milwaukee to lubricate guns...
* all's i sayin' is Joe Pera thinks Governor Whitmer is cute...
* Owen, the Fifth Pearl Jam
* you don't need glasses for coffee...a lot of Book Depository vibes here but don't worry...nobody eats muffins anymore...well that's why you're so tired. they still need to make Abuelita for Keurig. FINISH the Sunday New York Times crossword, you can DO IT, just try, TRY, anti-intellectualism ISN'T the answer!!!
* a dog can't understand English but he can understand Shakespeare. dogs like squirrels cos they're jealous of squirrels' tails.
* bark bark
* Jesus in a car...
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happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: CURBSIDE!!! gonna do curbside pickup for the first time this covid nightmare, Denny's. i'm debating whether to get their succulent seasoned red potatoes, best in the diner biz. see i've already had the wedged potatoes but not the mashed potatoes. but didn't i already eat the mash cos by eating the wedged potatoes i had the mashed potatoes, too?...
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