COOL DREAMS

notes:

* The Boondocks meets Hey Arnold, adult swim make this a show...

* cornfield has cool Pharrell hats

* Batman vibes, the one with the black paper. Purple Drank will come back later, he's a red purple herring for now...

* math teaches that we are all fuckups. you can hate math, but math will still kill you...

* this was my exact math class. darkened room, rolled-out projector, one chalkboard on the ceiling, cept the projector screen was replaced with a huge ridged wood Zenith tv on which we watched Storybook International...

* the punishment kid was my best friend. i felt so bad for him all the time.

* shit if the whiteboard turned into a tv i would have never left 3rd grade...

* remember that adult swim show with the black atheist?...he didn't do black magic if that's what you're thinking...

* your ankles hurt cos Fat Albert...nevermind, can't use Fat Albert anymore...

* the last time i ate spaghetti out of a tiny green pot was 3rd grade…...it was that Spaghetti-Os spaghetti with the weird clumpy noodles and those meatballs that were square for some reason

* 1 Flying Spaghetti Monster + 1 Flying Spaghetti Monster = Mom

* eating spaghetti with chopsticks, they only do that in Japanese horror flicks

* when you blur out the dildo it just makes you desire the dildo more. if you just show the dildo adult swim's audience will think it's a bong...

* cookiehead monster. with that voice that depresses me, they didn't make that one show with the shut-in incels in the nursery and King Valiant pond. i ate my baby...like her ass, i don't eat babies, i'm not a monster

* metro screaming, very obscure, huge on Dutch farms. i killed that beat! like a Suge Knight ankles situation

* Issa Rae's blowin' up Netflix!

* lotion! not a metaphor for cum! men use lotion all the time! for their cracked hands! they're manly men on construction jobs!

* Michael Jackson move before the spewing of fire...

* just McDonalds ketchup packets

* that god's picture on the wall in the back btw is not associated with any race, that's just a demon

* mom: dishes in the sink...
Spooky: they're all forks which are lies.
mom: what do you use this sock for!
Spooky: my foot. Fat Albert thing.

* mom: HE'S PLAYING GAMES ON MY PHONE!!!
Spooky: don't worry, mom, i'll delete his high scores.
mom: thank you, baby. keep the pictures on there, just the scores.

* that's not brown tub water...

* Eminem: i surprised myself.
Spooky: i mean a Lyft driver using a police car?...
Eminem: the only way to ensure people in this hood would social-distance. at least 8 miles.
Spooky: PLEASE text me back. girl! wait, i get all these delivered notices. so whats up?……...oh it was my FOOD getting delivered, she never texted me back!!!!!!!!!!
Eminem: at least you're not that dinosaur hunter who deleted all his work emails...

* oh leave that kid alone, he's had enough punishment...

* Tiffany Haddish: my head's not a radish.
Spooky: do you know what this napkin is?
Tiffany: no.
Spooky: sorry, i only date girls who watch South Park. it was Towelie.
Tiffany: tortilla. pronounced with ls, not ys. clap for emphasis.

* that whole Impossible Burger phenomenon lasted about a month, right? you don't hear about the Impossible Burger anymore...

* fish waiter: excusez-moi, monsieur. i do not belong here. i belong in a Monty Python sketch, with my boys...

* Tiffany Haddish: you sayin' i have a tortilla ass!!!!!?

* Rocket Power meets O'Grady on adult swim. i've lost count, when girls call each other bitch, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

* female Chalamet

* don't fight a girl with heels, take it from me, you will get pierced

* Spooky: i don't go to Rutgers, dude...
Demon: yes you do! i mean you will! they WILL open in the fall...

* Spooky: when my preacher tells me i need to be woke, it's weird. i thank you for washing your hands.
Devil: can never be too careful...
Spooky: here, use this napkin...

* Safe Space Lofts, used to just be called Ikea before Trump...nice hand-sanitizer dispenser at the front gate tho, you have to be buzzed in

* that one roommate who plays video games in the corner and never pays rent...

* Spooky: what is real?
Purple Drank: this. isn't this a cool modern sleek design to our loft? very European prefab. want something to eat? nevermind, all you need to survive is drink. now you've gone and woken up the baby!

* every rap album cover is either a baby or a grandma knifing a Pokemon

* Ghost Baby: Pac-Man spared me. but the trauma stunted my growth. so i didn't become a 2001 baby.

* Spooky: how long have i been here?
Purple Drank: since Muppet Babies.
Zoe Kravitz: look, Issa is the now but i'm still the lineage of Lisa Bonet. i mean Lisa Bonet is Lisa Bonet. we're talking Lisa Fucking Bonet here. CORNROWS Lisa Bonet!!!

* Zoe: you're never too young to start drugs...
Spooky: i shot PixyStix up my nose in front of my doctor once cos he wanted to prove Behaviorism...

* ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!! you can NEVER throw a nerd a bone, the babe ALWAYS turns out to be a banshee from Hell!!!

* Purple Drank: Spooky? what's going on in there?
Spooky: I CAME. and i think i orgasmed for the first time, too. or she did or something.

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happy weekend, my babies

it's summer. so...…...yeah. TOMORROW: $10 box of Popcorn Nuggets from KFC. no sides, no taters, no mash, no slaw. cos i've been dry awhile...