ANGIE IN VEGAS: OVERBITE

 

 

Debralee Scott and Bart Braverman are flirting on the bottom row of Match Game.

Debralee Scott: finally i have a playmate around here. someone simpatico.

Bart Braverman: yeah. i know, right? we're both cute. Brett Somers is so stodgy.

Brett Somers: i heard that, feather.

Debralee: so obviously you're brave, i have a thing for firemen.

Bart: no that actually refers to the fact that i'm an Indian. you know, the REAL Americans. don't associate us with cowboys, we're our own thing. none of this Native American crap, that's the colonizer's term.

Debralee: i heard you guys live to 100.

Bart: i am not a fireman...

Debralee: wanna go rollerskating sometime?

Bart: on those '70s dark-brown wooden planks, it would be my dream and honor.

Jen R: know how i know i'm your soulmate?

me: how? he says as he posts wrong again.

Jen: because you will NEVER get sick of me!!!

MAILER DAEMON: fuck me. ignore me, email like a mad demon before it's too late.

Blade Runner: no flying cars but it's a cool-looking futuristic snowplow, which is more important.

Ryan Wedding: caught just in time for the Winter Olympics. i'm gonna be in the Opening Ceremony!!!

Ryan Wedding: transnational, baby. i got the best name.

Skullduggery (1970): D&D can't be scarier than those fuzzball Land of the Lost creatures.

Cameron Smotherman: hey at least i don't wear fishnets. i have the best name for a fighter. i just needed a Snickers...

Sacred Heart sweater: it's iconic.

Protestants: ...

Neaux Sneaux: when Dr. Seuss saved kids from getting frostbite by giving away Cat In The Hats at the Scholastic Book Fair INDOORS during the Blizzard of '04...

Nine Inch Nails: you copied me.

Tool: how? what?

Nine Inch Nails: a nail is a tool.

Aaron Copland: strangely, it's spelled Cop Land like that Sylvester Stallone movie. who composed the better Seasons symphony, me or Vivaldi?

the band Geese: you know that goth-rocker punk teen in the black leather jacket in that final season of Skins...

David Letterman: the lead singer is a taller fuller version of the lead singer of The Vines.

est: we dissolved in 1984, what a shame, we were the only thing combating Big Brother with sanity...

Zalman King: i had real rabbits in the bed where the woman and man were making love. imagine me on set that day: "We need rabbits!!!"

David Duchovny: yes, Stella the dog became my real dog.

Andrew Dismukes: i was not dismissed.

Ryan Wedding: i am the TRUE definition of a powder hound...

Alanis Morissette: and they say rain weddings are good luck...

Jim Gaffigan: Hot Pockets don't have pockets anymore...

Denny's pancake syrup: a hell worse than flames.

Vincent van Gogh: i'm the Sigmund Freud who didn't become a doctor like his father wanted...

Keanu Reeves: i am your modern-day Jesus.

Alex Honnold: see i don't think of it as climbing UP an insanely-high cliff, i think of it as jogging Central Park in a snowstorm...

Buddha wearing Inuit snow-blindness glasses: you ever reach Enlightenment after climbing up a mountain?

Alex Honnold: yes but then the network makes me take a selfie so i forget it.

Geordi La Forge: don't copy me, Buddha!!! i HAVE to achieve enlightenment in my condition, all i can do is spirit walks in my mind!!!

Beetlejuice: i'm driving the snowplow!!! beet juice on the roads...

Bart Braverman: you have freckles on your overbite, it's fascinating.

Debralee Scott: and dimples in my teeth, holes. i stress-ate a lot of pistachio chocolate when i was in the 4th Grade. 

Bart: your overbite makes you MORE attractive, i wouldn't have noticed you...

Debralee: my overbite is good for blowjob. have you ever had a bitejob?

Bart: i don't know how that would work on me, don't know how my body would react, is pain pleasurable or pain to me? let's try it and find out. it's kinky so it's very '70s.