notes:
* Luke Russert is riding on top of the Snack-E 7-Eleven robot all around the windy alleys of Los Angeles.
Lindy Lenz: come on, Lukecakes, get off that thing, stop striding astriding atop that thing, you're too heavy for that thing, you'll break it, you'll squash it, you'll crush it.
me: your're too fat for that thing, brother.
Luke: but it's fun. imagine getting a whole pizza or a whole hot dog delivered to you by this thing at your doorstep.
me: beats having a metal Great Dane dog at your doorstep.
Luke: this was my LIFE DREAM, this 7-Eleven pepperoni pizza. i'm not motivated to do anything else in my life anymore ever again now.
we behold the FULL pepperoni pizza at 7-Eleven in all its glory. in its glistening cheese spinning round and round that rotating silver tray under a yellow heat lamp.
Tony Hawk: this place has a Pizza My Heart surfer vibe to it.
Luke: dig in, gang. a trio's treat!!!
Lucio: not as good as St. Cyril's pizza.
Lindy: it's good. it tastes like 100% SUPREMELY REGULAR pizza.
me: you got the supreme?
Lindy: you know me, only EXTRA EXTRA CHEESE for me. i see a face in this pizza. thick crust only.
* Christopher Kimball: i achieve BALANCE in my life because my body is in balance, i got my body balanced, because the liquid between my ears, my ear liquid, my ear liquid swishing like ocean waves all up inside my ear canal is calm, not a George Clooney perfect storm.
Anthony Bourdain: my right ear is clear but my left ear is still blocked...
Anthony Bourdain: do you know how aggravating this is. i can't.........i can't put it into words. frustrating. irritating. desponding. how DUMB is this. this is SO stupid...
* Indiana Jones: Marion, the both of us are tied to telephone poles.
Marion Ravenwood: what happens when the Ark electricity hits us?
Indiana Jones: MCI, reach out and touch someone...
Marion: nice try, Indy...
Indiana Jones: telephones weren't invented yet in 1900.
David Letterman wearing an Indiana Jones stetson/fedora hybrid hat: why wasn't I Indiana Jones?!!!...
Crocodile Dundee: i can do an American accent...
* Benjamin Franklin: i'm MEAN-MUGGIN' on that new 76ers logo...
Ben Franklin: my basketball flow is electric, my NBA play is invisible, i'll dribble-drive and break the ankles of Wemby as i dunk toward freedom...
* Confucius say: walking up and down grocery-store aisles EVERY DAY is meditative, calming, and soothing.........unless you're searching for a toilet plunger...
* Chris Matthews: i dry-shave ONLY when i have to cook and clean at the same time...
* Indiana Jones: wait, why did men stop wearing hats?
Pharrell: ...
Jason Mraz: ...
Michael Jordan: ...
Sorting Hat from Harry Potter: nobody knows the EXACT reason why or when it EXACTLY happened, but it has something to do with the Beach Boys not wanting to be like their daddies...
Jack Tripper: i would've worn a hat.........i would've looked cool in a hat...
* Coco Gauff: don't call me Coco Puffs.
* Gina-Marie Zink: i'm a very rare entity, i'm on TV but nowhere on the internet...
* TTNG: This Town Needs Guns? FUCK NO, this is The Next Generation...
Eli from Degrassi: ...
Eli from Degrassi: everyone has completely forgotten about me. i've been living in my car which if you broaden out that metaphor means i'm dead cos my car was a coffin...
Data: imagine me on Degrassi...
Data: they wrote a Degrassi storyline for me where i become the star quarterback of the school because i can throw a 100-yard touchdown pass every time and i try to date head cheerleader Gates McFadden but she quits school to be a tapdancer...
* Indiana Jones: not many people know this but the horse i was riding in Raiders of the Lost Ark was in fact Secretariat...
* David Lee: i gotta just say one thing.........thank you, Rory McIlroy...
* Canadian smoke: i DARE you to wear a mask again...
Melissa Maker: I am Canadian Smoke...
* Jean-Luc Picard eating a pizza with ficelle crust: ...
* Grimace: for my birthday meal i wanna fuck Ursula from The Little Mermaid...
* pizza bar: where they serve bar pizza. an adult Chuck E. Cheese with one-armed-bandit slot machines...
* Grimace Shake: made with purpleberries.
* Naim: the perfect name.
* trivago: Inkuni means firewood. yes the price difference, but Trivago Guy hasn't been seen for a year since he booked that destination wedding to the Titanic wreck...
* Nissan: it's the Golden Anniversary of hip-hop so everybody be sure to wear their GOLD in their teeth this week...
* Google Pixel: don't erase the trashbags on the street corner sidewalk in your photo, that's as underground rap as it gets!!! originally hip-hop was the music of the unseen garbagemen...
* Sprite: from GloRilla to Gorillaz...
Professor Indiana Jones: i never had one of those chalkboards which stretched ALL THE WAY UP to the ceiling. those are special blackboards reserved for Einstein's first abstract-algebra proof and Dr. Dre's first rap lyrics.
Dr. Dre: imma doctor AND a professor, a doctor of philosophy...
* the Progressive crew.
Jamie: i had a special client this week.
Mara: why is this pink house HUGE and HOLLOW? no really it's weird, like, all the rooms have no walls, why?
Alan: Barbie had the first electric car...
Jamie: i KEN't tell you Barbie's boyfriend...
Flo: Barbie's boyfriend is Kent?
* Rubikon: now that's what i'm talking about, a library in a barbershop!!!
Doritos: not Illuminati, the triangle means we got an EDGE to us...
Luke Russert: happy weekend, my babies. TOMORROW? Big Bite hot dog from 7-Eleven served in a robot's oven belly. this is Good AI. i mean it beats a stadium dog, right?
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