TMIT: THANKSGIVING IS WHEN?!!!!!

 

today in 1909 history was made. the Wright Brothers formed a multimillion dollar corporation to manufacture airplanes and in 2021 TMIT is posted.

Wright Brothers: we were only looking to make gum...

1. would you buy a self-driving car and use the self-driving mode? only if it's electric. 

trick question, all cars will be electric soon. finally FINALLY the world is starting to look like the Tron future i envisioned as a kid. all gas stations will be replaced with electricity hubs. and all cars will be replaced by solar cycles. this is perfect for monks like me who hate cars and car culture, i won't ever have to drive anywhere, it'll be like my Berkeley days when i walked to McDonalds for breakfast. 

the car doesn't need me to be inside it to drive it. i can be inside other things.........like my home. get my groceries at LUSH for me. but it's still a bit messy because i do still love rollercoasters...

2. what is your favorite three-word sentence? FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

3. what would your pet say about you if we asked for a reference?

first head: he is a kind pet. he thinks he's the master. he treats us better than his own children of which he has none. he really does like us better than people.

second head: he works hard. but only if it matters. working at an electricity hub is useless, he needs to write.

third head flopping his floppy ears: All Humans Go To Hell

my pet is Cerberus

4. have you ever been stood up by a date? did you attempt another date with that person?

of course. 100% of the time. i get stood up at Sizzler and cry into my giant spicy meatball. i ask to use their phone, i make a scene, i shout and blubber noisily into the phone causing all the patrons, TikTok restauranteurs, and chefs to stop what they're doing and stare at me. Gordon Ramsay starts to cry sick with worry over me. i get asked to leave and they drag me out of the Sizzler:

me: thank you, Sizzler, i see you working, you had the shield on your salad bar BEFORE covid...

and then we have the second date, which is really the first date. isn't that how the game of love works?

5. have you ever checked through your phone media to remember the night before?

i only put my work on my Instagram, i never would put personal pics on there, you think i'm crazy?!! what if my side-girls see it?!! what if my priest sees it?!! what if Mama Gucci sees it!!! they're not Gaga Monsters anymore, they're Gucci Gremlins!!!

but mostly i don't put my personal life on social media cos i don't want folk being bored to tears.

BONUS: never have i ever___

played Telephone on the schoolyard with a tin can and string. but i have danced to "Smooth Operator" by Sade naked in a YMCA shower...

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY