* tonight is the Full Moon and the Full Moon Ritual. will you be there? did you miss it? this isn't just another moon thing, this will be the longest eclipse in a Carl Sagan billion years. so this really is a once-in-a-lifetime moment for you here, there's no redundancy if you miss it it's over forever. not even a past life or projecting your astrobody into the future.
* Baker Mayfield is a talented-enough actor to carry a sitcom on CBS
* Kyle Mooney: The Sex Lives of College Girls saved me from suicide
* gaggle of girls giggling: so how's the sex?
Jo Firestone: Joe Pera and i do not have sex. Joe Pera and i play chess.
* Laurie Halse Anderson: now THAT's how you LIVE!!! go back to your high-school sweetheart, back to your childhood crush, the neighbor boy, and make your own Brady Bunch.
* Adam Trent: not the same kind of magic Reznor does.
* Dirg: whatever you do, do NOT offer the ONE troll commenter you've had your whole life for 10 years doing cartoon reviews a JOB at Bubbleblabber!!!!!!!!!!!
* Moroha: my name is hard to pronounce.
* The Devil's Bible: like i would have Codrus write me.
* Maria LaRosa: it's hard out there for a pimp weathercaster, fighting the good fight everyday for science. meteorology ain't magic. i mean the very founder of our company is a climate-change-denier...
* Jan-Michael: as a tennis player i was named after the gimbal of the Apple iphone. i gamboled in the grass when i was a tyke with a pre-phone known as a magnifying glass...
* Bergen Williams: do you remember me as a maid? not in The Brady Bunch house. or as a pro wrestler? i wrote when Power Rangers was still on tv...
* wait they did Sun already, right?
* not the start of Moon, a commercial for The Wheel of Time, and that's not Velma from Scooby Doo in the visible commercial
* Guillermo del Toro: copyright The Mighty Boosh. i hate when that happens, my fingers get all sticky when i suck on Red Vines.
* it's an alien language but you can understand it
* Jonathan Brandis: if Neverending Story 2 had been more like this...
John Barrowman: same, buddy, same, i would have kept my head in a box and still be on the show...
* fried egg = shuttlecock
John Barrowman ...
* it's Loy Krathong season!!! get your leaf candle boats ready for the river ride!
kraken: i'd appreciate my own day for some love.
* why do all cartoon shows now look like video-game levels? cos they're all from MY generation! we all played the same gray games...
* watch out for those invisible toads
* HDP = if you translate the Dutch it comes out as Adventure Time International House of Pancakes
* why is the moon inextricably linked with mushrooms? psychedelic mushrooms
* role reversal: this time the bears have the blow-up doll to get revenge on the furries.
Berenstain: STAIN! STAIN!
* the red-sun sailor chant does not work with a red moon.
female Gremlin: yeah but see i was the only nice Gremlin, the mom Gremlin, the caregiver Gremlin.
* Mike Tyson: i like this part
* cows: we caused Earth to explode. sorry, our methane gas.
CBM: all cows should eat only kelp.
* frozen infinity pool
* what would happen if the moon crashed into the Earth?...
Angela Anaconda: the moon isn't screaming, that's its resting-bitch face.
* you NASA Hoax guys are the reason MCA from Beastie Boys died.
Cigarette Smoking Man: you guys suck, Beastie Boys were my sons.
NASA Hoax manlet: you know what, you look like if Frankenstein were human.
* if Sesame Street was rendered in Belladonna of Sadness
* Phoenix note: i FUCKING LOVE live action!!! more of this type of live-action, i could see this becoming a drama on TNT, i'd watch these folk again.
* waitress: i speak in a Southern accent but you won't have to do the Human Centipede, sweetcakes. copyright Dennys.
black woman: Northern Exposure was my favorite show.
* Phoenix: potato salad makes your butthole itchy
* waiter: these blue gloves are to keep me from scratching myself, not for covid.
* woman: the blue burger, does it make you poo brown?
* Phoenix: MARCH 22!!! that's my birthday!!! March 22, 2095, with my lifestyle i'll be sure to be there to see what happens...
* woman: get it? it's like blue cheese. Jimmy black meat? look, my family was opposed to and disapproved in the strongest terms me marrying a crusty old white dude who wears hats, but i genuinely fell in love with him. what are you gonna do? on the flip side i finally finished the ending to the tv show Out of This World that everyone wanted. it's a satisfying ending, i'm a Hollywood writer.
* my 5 most exceptional belongings: my kids, spread out into the furthest galaxy. the Kama Sutra teaches Up Down Left Right and Penetrate The Center to free me of wanton desire...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: Pizza My Heart. i haven't eaten real pizza since the pandemic! REAL PIZZA is teacup-pepperoni pizza.