TMIT: IF IT'S A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN, IT MUST BE HUNTER S. THOMPSON

so tomorrow.........yeah...

Hunter S Thompson: so yeah this isn't just another race with a flaccid binary choice where both sides are the same. not a choice between Fear and Loathing. it's a choice over whether or not you're gonna be able to GET all those secret drugs you fantasize over when you write your blogs...

1. what car do you remember your parents owning when you were a child? do you have any special memories attached to it?

remember it clear as day. clear as mud, for it was a dark-green color that kinda looked like moss. my parents got this beautiful long slender tank of a Volvo stationwagon for the family---i was the only-child family---and we rode that sucker most of my Nintendo childhood. i remember cos we got it THE day President Reagan was sworn into office. man, thinking was a lot different back then...

2. how important are cars to you? could you live without one? i'm terrified of cars. i can't drive cos i get nervous behind the wheel. i once saw a Disney's Cars beach towel hanging in a Costco and freaked the fuck out like people in Costco do. the only thing that calms me is Christopher Cross's "Sailing" which i play in the tapedeck...of my boat...

3. in April 2019, Elon Musk predicted that owners of autonomous cars acting as taxis would be able to earn up to $30,000 from their vehicle while they weren't using it. what do you think?

i mean Elon is merely speeding up the Robot Revolution. does he think the robots are idiots? that's Man's first mistake. you gotta pay the robots a fair share or they too will revolt. 

i mean Elon has a lot to answer for. he still hasn't apologized for that whole caveman thing...

4. tell us about your dream car:

Ken in the passenger seat wearing a black speedo with the words RESIST scrawled on the jock, pink, she's a party girl but still professional, she wears a white lab coat, stethoscope, and Redbottoms heels.........oh i thought you said Dream Barbie...

5. tell us about the worst car you ever owned. what made it so bad:

there was a flaw in the engine. the mechanics were beautiful, it had an aerodynamic dynamic yonic Y-shaped motor but it couldn't get me to where i wanted to go. i wanted to go to the '80s. i ALWAYS want to go to the '80s, but the flux capacitor kept telling me we were ALREADY in the '80s...

BONUS: tell us about your most memorable sexual experience in a car:

it was at the gas station. i didn't know how to work the pumps. it was all too fangled for me and my artist mind till the attendant came to help me. the attendant kept pumping pumping pumping till i was finished.........i still had no idea how to get gas so we got in to see if i could drive. surely i would need automatic transmission, right? i could never handle a stick, i don't like greasy hands, i have no information on China.........well apparently i could cos the stick was pushed then pulled pushed then pulled pushed then pulled even on this Japanese model till i was finished.........i still was uncomfortable around cars but everyone i met on the road kept telling me after whispering in my ear "fuel emission" that i was a master at road head. i never wanted for cash again. and then, that fateful day when i decided i would wipe the windshield...

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY