Friday, November 20, 2020

BALLERINA DANCING ON A ROOFTOP BY MOONLIGHT





notes:

oh i remember that 10-episode story arc i wrote on Instagram about a ballerina dancing on a roof by moonlight. it's a beautiful image to center a tale around. it evokes Batman: The Animated Series. and that SVU episode. to the envy of parkourists the world over...

* rad maestro: i choose YOU. to be in the main ballet.
Tais Vinolo: i WIN LIFE based on my name alone! nobody will ever have a radder name than me! i'm the prima ballerina now, bitches, where my teacakes and wine!?...

* maestro: keep the feather tiara, you're gonna need it for emotional support when the show gets canceled...too soon?...
Dirg: Dovato commercial?
maestro: not cool.

* Tais: the main reason i got into ballet was to get out of this stuffy school uniform with the drab red Handmaid's Tale overcoat and green grunge Green River plaid pleated skirt...

* dad: that's a wonderful spin, honey, but now i gotta vacuum the carpet, use your cleats next time...

* mom: honey stop plie-ing in front of the tv, i can't watch the news.
Tais: I DON'T NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE???! i can do what i always dreamed of, what i always wanted, devote myself to my one life passion, which has always been ballet!!!
mom: no you still gotta do zoom school...
Tais: aw fuck

* Tais: what groceries you want me to brown-bag for you? celery? tomato? cloud ear?
mom: just buy masks. we don't need to eat, only get masks.

* instructor: wait is this porn!!?
Tais: no i'm just doing the splits. it's video but it's cool.
instructor: sorry, still getting used to zoom...

* dude: i see you, ma.
Tais: you know i'm a ballerina, right? i didn't get this flexible for you.
dude: you're blocking the stairs...

* Tais dancing in the streets in the rain, like a dream:
Tais: my mom spent 7 hours doing my braids. and i went out in the rain to dance and my hair is ruined.........worth it...

* Tais: what you smiling at?
dude: you.
Tais: shouldn't you be in school?...

* Tais: i'm so good when i leap in the rain my feet don't get wet...

* Tais: CANCELED!!!???
George Costanza: it's not you, it's covid.
Tais: IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME???!!! I INVENTED IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME!!!!!!

* Tais in bed: i'm sad. true these Christmas danglers are cool light sprites. and my ballerina crayon etchings are cool. and when i cry i cry glitter, but i'm still sad...

* little girl: i know what to do to cheer big sis up!
mom: wait i didn't know i'd be doing all the sewing...

* stairs neighbor: wow! the artwork on this invitation is stellar! you're real good, little sis! *whispering* don't tell her, but you're the better artist between you and your big sister...
other neighbor: this is your ticket out of the projects. excuse me while i get my ballet shoes...

* Tais: oh what a wonderful invitation you made for me, sis, i love it!
little sis: macaroni and glue and everything.
Tais: take it from me, never do glue! that's how they get ya, they start you off with the hot glue in 1st grade...

* dude's mom: HEY BOY! did you order a fleshlight from Amazon again!!?
dude: NO MOM, it's a flashlight i promise!

* that elevator scene back of her head IS Black Swan! Back Swan!

* dude: sorry, i missed your mark with my spotlight.
Tais: boy what were you looking at?!
dude: Batman was on the roof over there...

* Tais: what happened? you missed your cue, where was my glitter?
dude: i ordered it from Amazon, it arrived late...

* dude: but i got you Honduran seed bread.
Tais: let's date!
dude: i dunno...you're gonna be a big star...

 

happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: i'm squirrelly on the Panera Pizza. on the one hand it's the first time i will ever actually eat Panera...

...i know it's weird, all my years at Berkeley and i never once had a bite of their soup or slurped down their sandwiches. on the other hand it's still flatbread pizza which is a ripoff...if you're gonna go pizza get your money's worth and make it a nice full thick crust...




 

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