notes:
* not a radio, actually a really fancy picture frame...
* not lemons, two yellow cups...not a college trigger, yellow cups not red cups...
* giant electric outlet plug as modern art, frilly mary jane shoes, sweet potato pickle jar...
* i need one of those pools that opens up and becomes a barbecue
* not for nothing but i really wish Lab Rats would come back...Geico commercials aren't enough of a taste...
* be honest, you thought this was a Geico commercial, right? it's actually a Snickers commercial, which, okay
* not lemonade, Italian ice
* woman: i'm wearing some heavy symbolic jewelry, you noticed, right? one of them is the whale-shaped ship from Flight of the Navigator, the other is the giant sea turtle from Last Airbender, Aang himself told me he thought i was cute.
* man: so i'm unbuttoning one ONE button on my blue shirt here not to be immodest NOT TO BE IMMODEST, just so i can spool the mic through...
* aliens: should we be the first visitors? this planet is looking rough, i mean REALLY rough, haven't seen this planet this rough in millennia...
* man: what do you guys want to drink? i blow on them for luck, not dust collected cos we haven't had visitors for 19 years.
* man on couch: nice socks.
* man on couch: stop it i'm not Ron Jeremy's son. my dad's gonna beat this...
* wife: the moral of the story is...Earth, the final frontier...we never beat the virus, it just stayed with us forever...became endemic in our air, water, and windows...we got too used to screens and never visited each other again...can a relationship be 100% online and typed?...the kicker was we were told to go outside but the air quality from the fires was so thick we couldn't...
* oh yeah, the vaccine turned out to be nougat
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: Taco Bell. cos Taco Bell always has that "new" thing that is never really a new thing, it's just a new way to twist a Crunchrito into a shape that's never been seen before, stacked with another one, and coated in Doritos dust
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