Monday, August 17, 2020

TMIT: THAT JURASSIC PARK AMBER



you know that Jurassic Park amber that looks like a giant blondie confection golden brownie? it's good enough to eat despite that huge dragonfly stuck in the middle of it. 

you know i never really got into Jurassic Park after Goldblum left, it just wasn't the same. i had his last TV GUIDE with me in my coat pocket on an unusual L.A. wintry day, the coldsnap chattering the teeth of my underwear. it was the last-ever TV GUIDE in digest size. i inquired of the landlord but he said Jeff had been kicked out of his apartment...

1. what is the biggest part of your body? my eyes. i have anime eyes.

2. what is the best bad decision you ever made?

reminds me of that Sheryl Crow song "My Favorite Mistake". it was continuing with this blog. back then i was desperate, i had just quit college the summer before 9/11 and i was rudderless as a motherfucker. i mean i really had no other option, it was this or stare at the four walls all day staring at the carpet on my ceiling as i watched upside-down the last embers of MTV2 playing Marilyn Manson videos...

3. what is the silliest reason you got in a fight with someone?

like most great fights, i don't remember. what the cause was. and who started it. all i remember is we ended up having sex from it. we were already going through the motions punching and kicking.

oh yeah, it was whether Robert De Niro could play silly. De Niro had done funny in his career, but he had never done silly...until Bullwinkle...

4. what is your favorite thing about your best friend? he's imaginary.

5. if 5 men take 3 hours to dig 3 holes, how long will it take for 2 men to dig half a hole?


BONUS: would you rather be itchy or sticky the rest of your life?

i've had horrible itchy athlete's foot, it is not fun. well it is kinda fun when you dip your foot ankle-high into a vat of blue powder. plus i'm a foot fetishist so it wasn't too bad to lick the powder off. don't know why the powder was flavored blueberry tho...

now as for the sticky i have a confession to make: all of you have known me for years as the one and only Spider-Man. i save lives, make quips but only after i've had my coffee like a grandpa. and...boom! wow...that smarts, just thought of my grandpa and started crying...

...what was i saying? i swing from building to building in the city even though that causes a planned power outage to avoid forest fires. but all this time i wasn't able to scale walls. it was a sticky suit. a sticky suit i wore on the inside.






5 comments:

Bathwater said...

Most of my bad decisions are just...bad decisions. Is it me or are these questions losing the punch.

Jules said...

1:Boobs

2: All of them

3: Pure devilment

4: They know me

5: Half a whole year

BONUS: Bitchy

*)

Lynda McKinney Lambert said...

Oh, I like the imaginary friends, too.
Lots of them -

And the sticky suit that is on the wrong side -well, that might be a slippery situation to be in - huh?

TMI Tuesday blog said...

I only saw Jurassic one, wasn't a fan. I love Jeff Goldblum. I have since Tenspeed and Brownshoe.

I have been following you since before The Late Phoenix. I don't recall the name of previous blog name. I am very glad you made this "mistake". I enjoy you.

4. Ha! :)

5. That brings back memories. Haven't heard it in many years.

Bonus: Made me smile. I love your mind and the meandering sequence of thoughts.

-H

the late phoenix said...

bath: there's a theory that every decision you make leads to an infinite path so there aren't bad decisions per se, just decisions which point you to the next string of fate

mah dahlin: I want to suck your big tits in every country we gallivant the globe. globes. devilment, love that word, sounds like double mint, i want that for my grimoire name. the they that know you includes me. you're my bitch. love you

Lydia: I was an only child during childhood so imaginary friends were all I had. yes, especially when it's time to go swimming, wink wink

H: Tenspeed and Brown Shoe, what a great find! i love old tv. you were there from jump, we've been at this for a LOOOONGGG time, friends forever. thank you for that question, I was able to explore old Hole videos, remembering how searing that "Violet" video is. my mind is dissolving, I need a vacation

HTMIT, everyone! :):):):)