TMIT: WHAT'S THE SITCH?

1. what's invisible but you wish you could see?

exactly. i wish i could see the beauty of the world. but the world is all ugly. darkness all around me...

...and then one of the California Raisins tells me to remove my sunglasses indoors...

2. would you rather watch your neighbor(s) having sex while you are in the same room or anonymously watch your parents have sex?

MY neighbor!!? the one who wears a red hat...at all times!!? what exactly would we be eating during it? Lil Smokies cocktail weenies? the only thing cool about him is his American Revolution den, which he said he won off a History Channel contest but i KNOW for a fact he sold all my dad's ancient tomes and grimoires on Antiques Roadshow. he dressed up as Patrick Swayze cos he informed me via latenight text that PBS was dirty. he was never interested in a library...

oh that i could see both my parents again! in any situation together! showing me how to love...

3. for what are you nostalgic?

i mean i WAS a fan of Double Dare my whole life, it was good clean wholesome fun...with slime. and then my eyes are subjected to hearing Marc Summers tell racist jokes on a TED talk. i don't know if this was done ironically but that is one lonely sketchy road to travel...

my relationship with Kim Possible is complicated. sore spot. this was the show i was SUPPOSED to have been watching instead of going to college. so i missed this ENTIRE phenomenon. i get back from college and all the neighborhood kidults are raving about how good this show was and i'm just, like, questioning my life choices and wondering if college was worth it...

4. what is an unwritten rule where you work?

i had it...it's on the tip of my tongue and brainstem...i remember it i think...up, i forgot it, cos it wasn't written down...something about being careful who you love...

5. what is an unwritten rule or mutual understanding in your home?

under no circumstances are you EVER to listen to the band Unwritten Law without supervision from science, an explanation on pool dynamics by Bill Nye. if you must listen to Natasha Bedingfield, you must first dye your hair that insane hue of gold gold golden blonde of hers that comes from nectar and ambrosia from Olympus. i mean there's platinum and then there's holy pears...

do we have a mutual understanding? no mutual funds, bitcoin only, our payments are structured so we do well if you do well...

6. which body part do you wish you could detach and why?

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BONUS: what is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone else's home?

my home

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