notes:
* yes. it's iced bread. now go tell the fellas at Last Stream On The Left, i'm not getting involved in this. and let me know when the Satan show is starting up again, we need something before November...
* Biden: i wanted to say, like 75% which is the truth, but i still want to get elected...
* Jimmie Johnson reppin' Cali trying to fight the good fight. and that dude from Vegas, which is West enough. but it's NASCAR, you can't expect much.
* the Keukenhof Gardens from my half-home country, The Netherlands. the last Secret Garden on earth left before climate change ravishes everything that was ever once holy and indigenous. this place is filled with the most beautiful and beautifully-arranged patterned ornate flowers all the colors of the rainbow so bright Crayola markers are jelaous. and tricky waterways no lock nor marsh nor windmill could improve. it's like taking a picture of a painting, which is a redundancy. keukenhof means kitchen garden, which is what we all need to do now. to grow out of the boredom of covid. then it needs to be a Victory garden for the war against racial injustice. no, i've never visited The Netherlands or Dutchland as i call it. no i've never visited El Salvador, sadly too dangerous. i will never have the money in my entire life to travel. unless i become the kept boy of that rich woman from Cocktail. you know Tom Cruise when we was lost in New York. but not yet lost in space. that is my desperate dream: i want to be the kept boy of a rich sophisticated creamy woman with wavy brown hair, milfy, hot for 60, in heels and the daughter of a faux-furrier. whose ancestors settled here form the Africa Tea Company. in Manhattan in the early '80s, as we trip the light fantastic about town. she's known as the Hague Heiress cos she lays down the law...
* Skyler is a typical Tyler. he was rejected by Tom Cruise himself. for the Top Gun role after any household roles. Skyler thinks his crucifix is a gold chain. his boss wants him NOWHERE NEAR him, the boss like all of us are getting ready for the Bruce Lee doc. Skyler's girlfriend resents being called a Karen just cos she's Jon's new girlfriend, i mean she's never had a bob-cut cept when she was dating Bob. the brother doesn't want him and he got the job over Skyler even with a monytail. his elderly mother thinks it's spelled Skylar. and she traded away a waterpic and bleach for a spice rack, vanity over health. and dental health. Michael is a real man. he eats a KitKat bar like a sandwich! out of a raisins box! only Karens give out raisins for Halloween. what more evidence of pimpitude do you need from Michael! spoilers: that's Michael Jordan's son...
* yeah see thank you adult swim, eventually everyone realizes that they in fact DO have to pick a side...and you chose the good side...
* the world isn't a hologram, it's a 4000-piece puzzle. and the most perfect 6, the Friends cast. well not that perfect, i mean do we need another NYC show? we got Seinfeld, set Friends in Detroit and see what happens...
* you have whiskers, not a cake. you are not a dj. you want a way to stand out in the crowd? the Looney Tunes red circle. table. a baby starred in a music video think about that. it will clear out the cobwebs of your ear mucus.
* if you shame, people will act. if you inspire, people will change...
* hole for chairs when you go on holiday? you're not gonna get robbed while away on holiday, the robber has tracked your global location and wants to party with you, not be in a dusty house. waiting on that vaccine, scientists. we need a booster shot? is that like the Game Genie?
* what about that bird that is the root of all your problems?……...no, it was a real bird who ate your ice cream...
* and suddenly this becomes Children of the Stones...:
adult son: how old do i have to be before you stop telling me i have to go?
parents: as soon as you stop going in your pants.
adult son: pudding pudding pudding…...i'm trying out for Family Fortunes...
* you drive back naked. but that's not the point, the point is your car is backwards. i knew it, all cops are Owlmen. congratulations, your bed finally has no more sheets...
* Carl: this is not a dress...but those are my hot nuts...on the table...
* Carl: i WOULD hit a guy with glasses...and really fuck up my knuckles...
* Carl: i love dogs. not like Michael Vick. young people today only know Michael Vick as that guy on tv who won an Oscar for that documentary...and their dad went on his amusement-park ride that one time...
* the New Jersey Giants practice social distancing!!! cos they never tackle!!!
* Carl: you could put a coffee-table-book on that stripper's coffee-table graduation hat. i don't put drinks on strippers' heads...
* Carl: most strippers are PhD candidates...i learned that the hard way one night...see i never talked to one before...
* there's a fourth there...…...there's...
* Carl: when they say they "have a boyfriend", it's their manager. got my foot run over. couldn't collect cos it was already in a cast.
* Carl: i always wash my feet. it sucked cos that was the day i met Jesus.
* Carl has inspired me to go into statistics...i'm gonna change the numbers...
CLICK HERE
THEN HERE
AND THEN HERE
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: CHIPOTLE! doing the curbside thing again. the mall's still not open...but technically open, you can get queso curbside...all the kiosks still have to wait for the Macy's to open...like having college sports without students...after all you need a Macy's bag for that burrito...
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