NONCONSPIRATORIAL

notes:

* aw, it's PG

* FINALLY they found that flight!

* phew, that was close! no amount of ooohs and aaahs is worth death. how do we even know the sky is really blue?

* Phoenix: shit! i'm stuck in the elevator! just like when i was a kid! i'm getting Nam flashbacks and my hands are starting to get clammy.
Dave Hughes: worry not, my chum, this is the door to a brand new adventure! don't you want to explore!?
Phoenix: yes! bit i'm stuck in this elevator.

* John Boyega: remember when the Senate got along?
twitterer: the Star Wars Senate?
Boyega: no, boy, the haves and have-nots! i used to moonwalk in that glass elevator over there.

* the future of cities, no roads

* not CGI, just a REAL scary Ferris wheel that's about to buckle from all that weight

* Abbey Road left footprints...

* salmiak. and now you're about to experience major Working Girl flashbacks and nostalgia. if only you could 3D-printer all the windmills you'd ever need...

* BIG staples. see this is why we can't have flying cars. the Martin Luther King Jr Park, never forget. big ball of cat yarn. the Red Light District is telling you to STOP. that Star Wars hole Luke went down was LOOOOOOONNNNGGGG. THEY aren't the aliens, YOU are the aliens.

* this is an extended plea for Mitt Romney to do the right thing in the Senate...

* i'm glad OTA went there. a conspiracy is finding connections where there are none. i'm particularly susceptible to this being a writer, as it is my desperate JOB to find the connection between two disparate things, that's the whole point of storytelling...

* Tony Robbins, pre-scandal

* it's happened for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th times, but it hasn't happened for the 1st time

* war is not fair

* Satellite Satellite Satellite!, great Nine Inch Nails song. laylines=lines where you fuck on the internet. if only the Egyptians had told the Babylonians and Assyrians but there was no paper yet. and now we have war with Iran and bubbleblabber. solar flares are the real enemy. this has all been planned out before, by the Romans, tho that didn't go well. look at our bones, we were meant to look more like chickens than humans. computers WERE magic in the '70s.

* you can't read The Mind of God cos that went by too fast, i wasn't able to DVR it

* the head from the Head Like A Hole video. why isn't 1+1=11? the IRS got lucky.

* your television is watching you...

* it's Dave! no, the artist from Mad Magazine. sigh, that made me depressed. the church is below us. that isn't White-Out that's your tears. when your hands start crying it's time for Herpecin-L. Chubby Checker invented the race flag. and Johnny Rockets restaurants.

* try noom today!

* it's not your fault., it's your brain's fault. you brain loves being on autopilot. your brain does, not planes

* Miss Scarlet: but i need my phone to scroll the internet for my work.
Louise Belcher without bunnyears: but i need to eat or i'll die.
what Gene Belcher will look like after rehab: i need to drink or i'll die.

* Phoenix: either get a cyberbrain or play Pac-Man all day.
trio: is this Pac-Man part of the psychology part of the program?
Phoenix: no, it's just maybe you'll get so good you can become a pro gamer and have all the money you need for your addictions.

* Where's Waldo could never work in real life...

* oh i get it now, you're not actually supposed to find Waldo, life is the journey not the destination.

* Walter: dammit grandma, i told you not to follow me! you got your clamshell!

* dentist: all done.
patient: i can't see.
dentist: your eyes are that good, they don't need to see. what do you see?
patient: you need a new lice shampoo.

* patient: so THERE is the rest of the new Rick + Mortys...

* patient: oh hey. are you into that diaper sex?
woman: no dude, this is just what i look like. i'm what Chun Li looks like in real life.
patient: wanna go see Parasite?
woman: it's just such a nerd movie tho.
patient: i know, Obama recommended it. gotta go. OMG i can jump high now! phew, i'm terrified of picnics, now i can jump over the ants...
patient: oh now i get it, i was the woman's third eye all along...she needed something what with her face just being a smiley face. still doesn't explain the topknot tho...

* this makes me miss: the first design of cell phones, Peloton, Skins, Wall Street the movie not the impossible concept, MTV's Undressed, that gas station with the giant orange lollipop, and double-decker buses

* try to walk in place......it's impossible...

* Where's Bjork! she's somewhere in those trees...

* i'm still trying to decipher what's said at the end there, 3 times still nothing, it's not an alien language, it's just a fine example of Sweetback tape backmasking

* you know caught up in all the holiday hoopla i had no idea until a week later after watching this that this may be the final episode ever...…...for now. THANK YOU DAVE HUGHES FOR EVERYTHING

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happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: you know you just can't eat a Reaper Ranch Taco Bell taco without eating it while reading a graphic novel. what's your pursuit of peruse? something about Reaper, i'm eating mine whilst scanning the latest Neil Gaiman...