DAD WRITING FOR ZALMAN KING: DINNER?

Jake Winters invites Jen and me into the famous diner for his next batch of letters.

Jen R: those golden cluster mailboxes are ICONIC. i know your number is 114.

Jake: good eye, i didn't know that. i cared more about X-Files. who gets their mail at a diner? why would there be mailboxes at a diner? you have a dog's eye. right, Stella?

Stella the dog: i'm Lassie if she had been an atheist. right, pal?

me: why are you called Red Shoes?

Jake: don't want to talk about it. suicide. 

we slowly migrate to the park.

Jen: yeah see, i liked Season 2, i liked the location change, because the Red Shoes address is Canoga Park and now you really WERE at Canoga Park!!!

Jake: i told the producers my longcoat needed space to stretch its legs. 

Jen: what were all those trains in Season 1 carrying?

Jake: pesticide.

me: did you like how your story was wrapped up?

Jake: no. the movie was a serious existential meditation on suicide for love. but then in my follow-up episode they have me just butt-fucking Sheryl Lee...

loft: the only place with a sliding front-door...

Wild Orchid 2: Two Shades of Blue.

brothels: for virgins...

me: it's an honor to review this, i am obsessed with this film. the autograph i want is Nina Siemaszko, as in a physical B&W photo with her signature, not a stupid selfie.

Jen R: me too. just wish i could have been there in that Dick Tracy-lit red room of an indie theatre on Hollywood Blvd. to pay for a ticket to boost its sales.

Mona: i'm going to a live taping of Match Game 1979 in Vegas...

asshole frat guy: not only am i an asshole frat guy, i'm the first man to wear frosted tips.

Lance Bass: it's called a little lemon in the hair.

Blue: see? i can scream.

me: that whole scene made me uncomfortable. that's how you know it's good Zalman writing.

Blue: Don's Plum waitress is respectable. ANYTHING is better than frat life...

Robert Davi: i have permission from the President to shoot up this whole room...

Salman lngl aha, now the diner salt s mich Duc racy as Xalman Ingmar in rain.

me: SEE?!!! I wish more movies would do this, have two strangeys become a family, Blue and Sully, the white and the bodyguard, just another dog year and dad.

jenl whoo go to the daughter/dad dance. having eggs in pajamas. ironically, they;LL only way pajamas m form now on...

William Hales pearl Kimh KLear is about prison turion.

teacher tell us a little bait yourself, new student.

BkueL let;s St say I was going customer service I Vjatwpwrth.

Brent YL you Ike perfect Noue the anime sorry I'm nervous.

Jen RL Buffy's you got your heart broken by a girl's at a Dacramento Greyhonf station and h girl shows up at your school?!!! do you know the infinitesimal chances of that happening?

Palma l and not his transitions into a high-schools movie called Lucas For Girls.

Boule I do the wall arrow a little different, but.........our PR teacher is Mrs. felt? I knew a M<RS. fel;t at the others.

Brent; this old vineyard was rooted by tow bothers wh acted each there, the iced brothers.

Mario gel not talking to each other for 50 years.

Blues exactly!!! I ok like one for those K-pop bands.

Boue;s high-school chumL this so the est ya for school I;ve ever had, you dintl eye good days in high school. you get ones where you don;t cry. you survive, they made em hog 1 miles for no reason.

madam: you knowl as i'm inpwecirng these 3 new naked women, maybe I and what Erwin life choices. all i acted to be was Bluels mother...

rental okay not why is the championship game EO played at !A, in  the morning?

Puyal taglatbueL from now on all NGK games will start with the front of a starting gun.

blues I mena , this movie really isn't about losing a highschool football game, you know?

Brent l it;s okays day,d I don't kind that she was a woe. you love who you love. why do I get the feeling there;s only this one reel?...

TRm Deer itt: Blue at the white ocker fance, symbolic, she can't achieve the white cukes me dream of domesticity. member when I was on picket fences on VCS?

madame: Blue, I destroyed your dream nap ei s elapses. mu Brotosh high-schools attack tgeodn fumed me for a euoarteyr-pounde with cheese...

sully;l d rive a car like I pilot a plane...

Dolly; I wasn't a good yet, in a s aGRSR character!!!

Blues it;s list this look report on Harriet Tubman I did is REAKLY good, I want to show it to someone.

Blues the GED is for suckers. I;m gonna graduate college, bocce a vet, then rppare for the Dyemr, of love...

Merry ckaytonL an ending of hope, camps Sion, Holden hot, and haunt g tenderness.

BlueL I want to live i at t siatu ku fe ER with you.

TYogi bearK lol, I dontl ie Yellwostine, okay?

Taylor Dwoft: bot why didn;t I become just like Fiohie B., Hawkins?...

gee whiz: begin gee whiz back.

me: match Gamw 1979 on Vegas!!!

Jen RL yeah but that was expected, they should have had Match Game 1879 live in palm friend for one week, that would have been cool!!!

Del: female?

Dr Thor cartoonL the best way to start the rest of your day after school...

pebble Indmenity.

eayerl I'm crazy about you, kid.

Phyu;list: I know, I wanted you to be fresh.

alter; taxy as n I'm willing to do crazy things...

Olivia Newton-John in her :Pysical: leotard and John Travolta on his Perfect testicle-showing short=shorts dance. 

Jack Tripper: .........sometimes you feel like a UTI. I like cashews.

John taviltaL we were detained to become Olivia Newton-johnTavolta.

Millie Bobby Brown: call me Mille Bon Bon. this sets me up to do the live-action movie of Adventure Time...

Caplyta: when the depressed person is a mom, that makes it more depressing...

me wearing red high heels: how would you describe the music on the show?

George Clinton: spicy jazzy to start. then the wailing sax at the end when the woman makes the realization.

Jen R: are you related to Bill Clinton?

George Clinton: of course, Bill Clinton was the first black President.