Friday, February 10, 2023



* Ernest Hemingway: know why i like cats? cos they got six toes like me.
Greykid: Hemingway was a rough lover.

* anchovies: the ultimate socialists...

* Michael Weiss: Instagram is not about love, Instagram is about access...

* Michael Weiss: when you type

fine. how are you?

on Instagram, it sounds like


* Jack Reynolds Tripper: i'm just trying to bring people together and heal the world with my pratfalls. my dad was a good Tex.
Melissa Maker in cute khaki Smokey Bear hiker shorts: Maple Leave, think about doing it...
Brendan Fraser: have you seen Jennifer?

* Laertus: i want to work for the website Flickering Myth, that is the coolest name of all time.

* Pele: wait do people still fast for Lent?...

* Night Court (2023): the perfect night CAP

* E.Z. from Three's a Crowd: does my van remind you of another's van? Freddie Prinze's van in Chico and the Man.

* Doryce: dear, don't use the tongs to massage the spaghetti.
Gladyce: the tongs are good tools to separate the spaghetti speedily, dear.
Doryce: no dear, use your HANDS to massage the spaghetti, make that spaghetti your SEX.

* Carmine from Laverne & Shirley: it's a shame my spinoff never materialized cos i look EXACTLY like the fro dude who actually DID Hair!!!
Codrus: my favorite Laverne & Shirley episode is "The Monastery Show"!!! two enthusiastic thumbs up!!!
Cotard: mine, too.
Codrus: btw, not for nothing but the monastic enclosure's barbed wire is cutting off my circulation...

* Tasso Elba: when you're a hikikomori, but a stylish A Clockwork Orange hikikomori.
 Alex DeLarge: more like Willy Wonka.
Mardith in tassels: ...

* Michael Weiss: Instagram is a dating site where you never meet. Instagram is The Dating Site From Hell.

* city pop: all the Electronic Gems cars...

* Hogwarts Legacy: the perfect way to get back at J.K. Rowling. as the main character in the video game, too, sublime.

* Kay Jewelers: Valentine's Day is NOT A SCAM to get your hard-earned money for fake love. it's real.........if you have someone, if your husband looks like Prince Harry.

* the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich is made with love.........kinda like how you were created.
Fuerza: no, i'm not a good dancer. i have two left feet. i leave it to YOU ALL to do the dancing which leads to the baby humans.

* Lollapalooza: you can't get into the concert unless you have a Google Phone.........*sigh*, i miss Woodstock '99.

* Comma Bookstore: so you can PAUSE to think about ALL THE HERSTORY which created this week.

* Ron Leibman on the beach with his wife: only rich people can afford to do nothing.
Malory Archer: you need SO MUCH TIME to teach a baby how to be a spy.
narrator: doing nothing is worth it. trust me. all the Jedi Masters do nothing...

* Crown Royal Uber Eats: Celty knows nothing abut football, but Celty will deliver your Super Bowl The Big Game food on time on her ghost bike...

* Starbucks: calm down, world, we're all gonna die, nothing matters. the elixir for a divided world? coffee. the Aztecs knew this back in the day, while they were calculating their triangles.

* mom: a dog? too expensive.
Greykid Mlem and Blep: yep.
Reginald VelJohnson: get that Progressive money under your couch. right, TV Mom?
mom: no i'm a real mom, i live in the real world where problems can't be solved in 22 minutes...
Reginald VelJohnson: it was 30 minutes in my day, you couldn't skip the commercials.

* Subaru: you know it's an electric car when you see all the bumper stickers...

* daughter: okay, dad, you're cool. wait you work for TikTok? they're spying on us.
dad: what's happening with us? are we finally a family? you've come around to my position, "Macintosh Plus" is a cool Vaporwave song, Vektroid is trans, you didn't know that, did you? see, it doesn't matter.
daughter: okay but i've never seen Strawberry Almond Milk. can i drink coffee now?

* come to TurboTax and.........don't do your taxes.........and work at a storefront from the movie Exotica.

* Lily from AT&T: this won't do well at auction but on the bright side i'm FINALY getting my own sitcom!!! right? it's a PBS show called Antiques Roadhouse. this flip-phone is worth a billion dollars!!! it has a Jetsons antenna!!! 

* The Beatles: see the Yellow Submarine was never meant to be in water, it was meant to be in a New Zealand forest...

* Airbnb Islands: not even WE can get rid of your spam calls.

happy weekend, my babies


who ya got? place your bet in the comments. me? like that Kelce mom i'm a winner either way, i got my Smashburger wings.
Katharine McPhee: ...
me: the garlic lemon ones, buffalo sauce RUINS ALL FOOD. smashed sizzling on the flattop grill like my flattop hair. remember, Pizza Hut EXPRESS is not the same as a proper Pizza Hut restaurant!!! it's inside a Target, they just have cold deli sandwiches, and you have to wait 2 hours for the next batch of buffalo wings...




1 comment:

the late phoenix said...

Philadelphia Eagles beat the Kansas City Chiefs 100-98