* Ernest Hemingway: know why i like cats? cos they got six toes like me.
Greykid: Hemingway was a rough lover.
* anchovies: the ultimate socialists...
* Michael Weiss: Instagram is not about love, Instagram is about access...
* Michael Weiss: when you type
fine. how are you?
on Instagram, it sounds like
FINE I'LL TALK TO YOU, JEEZUSS!!! how are you
* Jack Reynolds Tripper: i'm just trying to bring people together and heal the world with my pratfalls. my dad was a good Tex.
Melissa Maker in cute khaki Smokey Bear hiker shorts: Maple Leave, think about doing it...
Brendan Fraser: have you seen Jennifer?
* Laertus: i want to work for the website Flickering Myth, that is the coolest name of all time.
* Pele: wait do people still fast for Lent?...
* Night Court (2023): the perfect night CAP
* E.Z. from Three's a Crowd: does my van remind you of another's van? Freddie Prinze's van in Chico and the Man.
* Doryce: dear, don't use the tongs to massage the spaghetti.
Gladyce: the tongs are good tools to separate the spaghetti speedily, dear.
Doryce: no dear, use your HANDS to massage the spaghetti, make that spaghetti your SEX.
* Carmine from Laverne & Shirley: it's a shame my spinoff never materialized cos i look EXACTLY like the fro dude who actually DID Hair!!!
Codrus: my favorite Laverne & Shirley episode is "The Monastery Show"!!! two enthusiastic thumbs up!!!
Cotard: mine, too.
Codrus: btw, not for nothing but the monastic enclosure's barbed wire is cutting off my circulation...
* Tasso Elba: when you're a hikikomori, but a stylish A Clockwork Orange hikikomori.
Alex DeLarge: more like Willy Wonka.
Mardith in tassels: ...
* Michael Weiss: Instagram is a dating site where you never meet. Instagram is The Dating Site From Hell.
* city pop: all the Electronic Gems cars...
* Hogwarts Legacy: the perfect way to get back at J.K. Rowling. as the main character in the video game, too, sublime.
* Kay Jewelers: Valentine's Day is NOT A SCAM to get your hard-earned money for fake love. it's real.........if you have someone, if your husband looks like Prince Harry.
* the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich is made with love.........kinda like how you were created.
Fuerza: no, i'm not a good dancer. i have two left feet. i leave it to YOU ALL to do the dancing which leads to the baby humans.
* Lollapalooza: you can't get into the concert unless you have a Google Phone.........*sigh*, i miss Woodstock '99.
* Comma Bookstore: so you can PAUSE to think about ALL THE HERSTORY which created this week.
* Ron Leibman on the beach with his wife: only rich people can afford to do nothing.
Malory Archer: you need SO MUCH TIME to teach a baby how to be a spy.
narrator: doing nothing is worth it. trust me. all the Jedi Masters do nothing...
* Crown Royal Uber Eats: Celty knows nothing abut football, but Celty will deliver your Super Bowl The Big Game food on time on her ghost bike...
* Starbucks: calm down, world, we're all gonna die, nothing matters. the elixir for a divided world? coffee. the Aztecs knew this back in the day, while they were calculating their triangles.
* mom: a dog? too expensive.
Greykid Mlem and Blep: yep.
Reginald VelJohnson: get that Progressive money under your couch. right, TV Mom?
mom: no i'm a real mom, i live in the real world where problems can't be solved in 22 minutes...
Reginald VelJohnson: it was 30 minutes in my day, you couldn't skip the commercials.
* Subaru: you know it's an electric car when you see all the bumper stickers...
* daughter: okay, dad, you're cool. wait you work for TikTok? they're spying on us.
dad: what's happening with us? are we finally a family? you've come around to my position, "Macintosh Plus" is a cool Vaporwave song, Vektroid is trans, you didn't know that, did you? see, it doesn't matter.
daughter: okay but i've never seen Strawberry Almond Milk. can i drink coffee now?
* come to TurboTax and.........don't do your taxes.........and work at a storefront from the movie Exotica.
* Lily from AT&T: this won't do well at auction but on the bright side i'm FINALY getting my own sitcom!!! right? it's a PBS show called Antiques Roadhouse. this flip-phone is worth a billion dollars!!! it has a Jetsons antenna!!!
* The Beatles: see the Yellow Submarine was never meant to be in water, it was meant to be in a New Zealand forest...
* Airbnb Islands: not even WE can get rid of your spam calls.
happy weekend, my babies
THIS IS ISPOT.TV's BIGGEST WEEK!!!
who ya got? place your bet in the comments. me? like that Kelce mom i'm a winner either way, i got my Smashburger wings.
Katharine McPhee: ...
me: the garlic lemon ones, buffalo sauce RUINS ALL FOOD. smashed sizzling on the flattop grill like my flattop hair. remember, Pizza Hut EXPRESS is not the same as a proper Pizza Hut restaurant!!! it's inside a Target, they just have cold deli sandwiches, and you have to wait 2 hours for the next batch of buffalo wings...