notes:
* gypsy: i'm better than Miss Cleo...…...not a racist remark...
* girl who is in every commercial: Mercedes Benz or peace sign?
gypsy: peace signs are now making ventilators...
* gypsy: before we begin it's only fair i give you my record. my whole life since i was a little girl with gold teeth i wanted to be Stevie Nicks. when i achieved these powers in that cave over there first thing i did was read Stevie Nicks's mind. and was handed a restraining order. i only wanted to know if she liked me. also we're at War...
man: yes, against covid.
gypsy: no, the board game War. there are two candles burning in the middle of this gameboard, if one of you don't make a move soon WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! those are silk curtains over there you know!
* gypsy: you met on a dating app...
girl who is in every commercial: how did you know?
gypsy: lucky guess. just kidding. i know your boyfriend, he rejected me on the same app.
man: wait, you said you were from Romania. but your Plenty of Fish profile says you're from Jersey.
gypsy: hey, ask 23andMe, they know my history.
* gypsy: DELETE THE APP!!!
girl who is in every commercial: but why?
gypsy: cos apps are scary. when they start to wiggle and shake and shiver around on your phone, taunting you, teasing you, dancing in front of you, turning their squares upside-down, sticking their tongues out at you. daring you to come and erase all the twenty years worth of hard typing work you put into them...
* gypsy: gesundheit. that sneeze isn't funny, fella...
* girl who's in every commercial: can i borrow your gypsy mood-lighting lamp for tonight?
gypsy: i'm saving it for Miss Scarlet...
* gypsy: you have a birthmark the shape of Texas, she thinks it's Arkansas...
man: yeah i'm gonna dump her ass cos she dumb. those two states look nothing alike...
gypsy: i'm never driving crosscountry in my cat unicorn van again. until they get stay-at-home orders in those states through the Olympics...
* gypsy: i see something else...the end of the world...no, a Satanic star...no just a star...
* man: so will Mercedes Benz give us a sweet payment-option plan in these times?
gypsy: these times?
* man: i can never get my electric toothbrush to work.
gypsy: the maids use that plug for their vacuum, you should be ashamed.
* gypsy: i see a show......Three Busy Debras…...it's an IFC show...
* gypsy: that's a great choice of car you made there. okay, so do you want the cupholder or insurance?
* couple: wait!
gypsy: you want the coupe instead, cute coupe couple?
couple: no, we forgot to ask you about the only wish that matters...
CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: three words: Double Big Mac. cos it's a DOUBLE BIG MAC!!! or is it two words: Double Big-Mac with the hyphen? see my jaw can take it now, it's been worked. there's more than one way to serve four patties...and one involves a toy bun...
3 comments:
Pizza is the only carry-out I will get during the virus!
Now that is what going to the physic I went to is like.
bath: I remember my favorite pizza in grade school: it was a delicious red pizza made from sourdough bread that only Justin in my class had. Justin looked like that boy from Neverending Story.
i knew you'd like this psychic theme!
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