BOWIE SIGHTING

notes:

* i don't get it. where are the Bowie sightings? they should be occurring frequently now. where are all the Cobain sightings for that matter!?

* first mistake: should have recycled, not trashed

* Biden supporter: slice of quiche. Trump supporter: square that's been cut. hikkikomori: Triforce, wet Princess Zelda doll. me: slice of pizza.

* that was not the first time a banana brushed against my face...

* Space Man: greetings. i'm the Space Man. don't think from my design that i'm a square, i like to have fun. i have too many fingers when i get bored...
man: oh i get it, little green men, your green pajamas.

* first time you hear the British accent. he had boots on...made of real cheap leather. and a handle on the back of his neck for when he became a tea kettle...

* man: here's your problem: somebody took a bite of your ipad mini...
Space Man: you're a genius!!!
man: no, i'm an Apple Genius.

* man: Global Warming Button, can you please not push that red button...…...except for the penguins that turn into pingpong racquets, we need those for next year...
Space Man: not push the button...genius! how novel. sorry for using that word. i never thought to not push it.
man: yeah, read Thomas Friedman's latest, this coronavirus was just the glitch, the dress rehearsal for the real big show the planet must confront: global warming.

* it was just like any other day: holding my two umbrellas, my bike tires were those electricity balls you see in science museums, chased by a dog...Cerberus i mean.

* Space Man: i can't believe what i'm witnessing!
man: yeah the X-Games got canceled, that was the one which really got to me.
Space Man: no, is that a man or woman? why do men have long hair, it's confusing. can you teach me? i want to run over my sunglasses.
man: take off your boots...
Space Man: you know how to win life? never grow old.
man: if i teach you to wheelie, i live forever.
Space Man: and then i blow it. your penis goes in a circle, right? no i mean blow the tire. with air.
man: this is so much fun, i feel like Elliott from E.T.
Space Man: i'm trying to see how my father felt...my alien father...you can only be one with the universe if you're a bird...
man: i know, i have to be more sympathetic to women's needs. oh no, wait! now i get it. forever young, always be a fan of the film E.T..

* the next thing i knew, i woke up in the mental ward. and my face was a computer screen. for all the pricks in my elbow pit, i felt no liquid cocaine...

* true story: i REALLY DID escape from my mental ward, waited under a grey sky by the maple tree an hour and a half for a small empty public muni bus to come and bus me home.

* Space Man: i have seen senseless wars. why do you paint faces on your tanks? what are you doing, let the horse win, they were here first. i have seen people hungry in the streets.
man: yeah there are millions of McDonalds on every corner but nobody wants to eat there.

* Space Man: that cloud looks exactly like Princess Diana!
man: buddy, i need to tell you something...

* Space Man: all of my chocolate bars are gone.
man: that's why i can see your face clearly.
Space Man: Graham...
man: that's Grey Ham.
Space Man: another man who looks like you lives with us?
man: classic sitcom plot: either evil twin, clone, or country cousin.

* man: we're identical twins. but more importantly, we're friends.
twin man: where's your elbow?
Space Man smiles.
twin man: no that's your foreskin.

* twin man: why don't you ever gain weight?
Space Man: i eat with my eye.

* twin man: hey don't wear that red hat, you are no Doctor Who.
Space Man: are you a pilgrim, housemate?
twin man: yes.
Space Man: you're going to Hell for what you did to the Indians. SUDOKU! can i help you with your puzzle?
twin man: if we don't figure it out the snail becomes angry.
Space Man: the snail is a drawing, it's a picture. oh, i get it, you like anime.

* Space Man: can a sunset be racist?
twin man: that's a very existential question.
Space Man: you can't ignore me, Richurd! you don't have herd immunity! I was the snail all along!!!

* Grey Ham: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FIGURINE COST!!! I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE AT COMIC-CON AGAIN, YOU DUMB LITTLE BITCH.
Space Man: but why would you want to play with figurines when you could go outside and experience nature?

* Space Man: i'll give this woodchuck to Graham as an apology.
woodchuck bites Space Man.
woodchuck: i'm from the Geico commercial.

* and suddenly this becomes the 4th season of My Hero Academia...

* this is the Superman story except here the parents HATED their son cos he was so annoying...

* Grey Ham: WAIT! i don't want eternal life! eternal life renders life meaningless!!!!!!!!!!

go to the adult swim youtube page and watch all the Space Man segments loaded this week, i wish it were all in one cluster like the movie was...


happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: i wanted to go to the teacup-pepperoni pizza place. but it's closed. i wanted to go to Subway but what's the point. so it's Burger King. the drivethru, i can't go to the bathroom there, that's where i have sex. should i get the frozen coke or make it myself at home with coke and a blender and some ice chips?