Friday, April 10, 2020



* the woman, of couse, is the psychic from the previous commercial, the reincarnated spirit of Archie Bunker as a 2020 modern woman. the man is the lovechild of Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza. or Jerry Seinfeld if he grew a bushy beard.

* woman: as a caricature artist...
Brian Williams: we'll be right back with our NBC Early Desk characterization of the General Election...
Phoenix: no, not yet, LONG way to go. character actors are the best actors, they've lived life more.

* artist: i am also the everloving spirit of Charlotte Rae. wait, why are there dozens of caricature pencilings of the Olsen Twins all around me and this harbor!
Phoenix: sorry, they're funding this. the Statue of Liberty behind you is just a blown-up piece of paper with the Instagram Statue of Liberty emoji.
artist: oh no! i will not work with kids again! Arnold was a perfect gentleman but Conrad Bain drove me up the wall! the only way i relaxed was with jive from Willis. we hid our trailer drugs in the trees. and then that ginger kid came on and i was OUT!

* artist: no i WON'T be the one holding the sandwich! look at me!

* artist: as you can see, i also drew my shirt. everyone in this world is unique. that's why i reincarnate into every one of them. sorry, i went in Melinda Gates and she still says 18 months for the vaccine, how did people psychologically get past the Black Death. bubonic plague? i was thinking of a project to revive the Boys. you know, Monty Python, they will serve as inspiration for us all..

* artist: get the side-angle on my Naruto Japanese calligraphy, there you go. what do you think?
cameraman: waiting for dramatic Ferris Bueller painting pregnant pause...

* artist: where do they call it where you're from? hoagie? submarine?
man: this sandwich is as long as my...…...
artist: careful
man: appetite. they call it a Fireman's Delight. but that's regional. you like firemen?
artist: you like firemen he asks me. look at me!

* artist: see me!
Phoenix: wrong commercial.
cameraman: i don't see it.
artist: well you just don't know art.
cameraman: no i'm blind.
Phoenix: wrong commercial.

* Phoenix: gotta ask you to leave.
man: why?
Phoenix: your cap.
man: i didn't vote that way.
Phoenix: no, the bill of your cap is owned by Disney...
man: gotta pay the bills.


happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: well this is the week we have to stay home no matter what not even for food. not even for juicy greasy fast food. sigh. i think about what i WOULD have gotten…… the spirit of Atlantis and my mom's dream about being in the YMCA hot tub wading around not waiting around with her girlfriends again, i would have had a nice long soak in that Burger King sauna in Finland...


Bathwater said...

You watch too many commercials. You need Netflix.

the late phoenix said...

I'm a catlover so I can't get into Tiger King. I analyze and dissect a 30-second commercial the way I review a tv show. I have lists in my head of the Casablanca, the Citizen Kane of commercials