WITH BROADWAY DARK, ONLY THREE BUSY DEBRAS CAN SAVE US

notes:

* it's Friday the 13th? like that matters anymore!

* adult swim: you can do a show with us but we're gonna have to call it Depend Debras, Debras Sponsored By Depends. it's the only way our largely alt-right fratboy gammon fanbase will accept it.
Three Busy Debras: what happened to that Lazlo guy?
adult swim: retired. he never wanted to do television, he wanted to be a pro surfer. but then the oceans dried up.
Three Busy Debras: you know at this point we'd take just for the Bernie Bros to give us a chance...

* this virus thing is not good for my anxiety. stay safe out there, my babies. i'm writing the same as i would under normal circumstances, except now when my family leaves i wonder. i'm like that dog who sits at the corner of the cramped apartment on the fern jar...

* it's Depend, not Depends. you're not supposed to wear two.

* Debras: we'll show you poise! we're building a Coronavirus Comedy Club by scratch by ourselves just with our six hands! we look cute in those yellow hardhats. American depends on us and this is the what America needs now!!!

* my mom had hot flashes. i felt so bad for her. i'd make sure to save all the hot water for myself so she'd get all the cold water she needed.

* woman: i got hot flashes. no it's not glamorous. it's not The Flash on The CW. it's not a Designing Women Southern belle thing that makes a woman swoon until she gets picked up---literally---by Rhett.

* woman: i'm drenched...…...Robert Pattinson spit on me trying to perfect his Batman growl...

* woman A: when i laugh...i pee a little...
woman B: me, too.
woman A: wait, you're peeing but you're not laughing...

* woman C: sex?
woman D: ...i've heard it's wonderful...
Phoenix: nah, the key is to do it early so you get it out of your system. once you're 21 nobody wants to fuck you...
Debras: WHY did we put our magic menstrual blood sweat and tears into a show---coming up with the cleverest jokes, winsome womanly wordplay that only a female mind could conceive, the way it's shaped, and physical comedy that internalizes---that will just go to waste on incel messageboards!!!?...

* Oscar The Grouch as a boy: dad...if you're not gonna have The Talk with me, can we at least have the second talk?...
Big Bird: *hand on shoulder* son you're just gonna have to wait till your mother comes home.
Oscar: mom said you were a bad fuck. to her you were more of a cluck.
Big Bird: Helen Henny does NOT know of which she speaks. she got fired cos she couldn't tell jokes. look, the answers you seek will be revealed once you replace Joy Behar...

* adult swim: why are you busy?
Debras: nope. not gonna get our number. it's unlisted. even on the internet it's unlisted.

CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: going with the Chicken Burrito at Chipotle. i need to be wrapped in a blanket. an emotional-support burrito blanket. with Queso Blanco cos i need to be wrapped in light...