DARYL

notes:

* not the jet. nor the kid who turns into the jet or some such

* Daryl: people used to come out for a blurry photo of me.
Flo: now stupid cameras have autofocus and bokeh so you can't take a blurry photo even if you tried. they don't care about you anymore.

* Flo: wait, why don't you have a Northwest accent?
Daryl: people think my blood can stop coronavirus, they want me to save Seattle. but Kurt already saved Seattle. i do sound like Kurt, i growl like him. they say i look like Kim from Soundgarden.
Flo: how'd you get in here?
Daryl: the cat flap. then i beat that fake guru guy with the monytail and fake accemt with my walking stick here. that released all my country chakras.

* Daryl: people want me to be friendly like the one on tv, to show my teeth, to smile.
Flo: that bigfoot's smile wasn't friendly. it was fucking creepy. like, you weren't sure if he was real or animatronic, he was always half.

* wife: wait what's that?
husband: it's me, the guy from Adult Swim! oh, you mean the ATVs.
wife: those aren't ours. remember, you said you didn't have an ATM...
husband: let's get our kids and go.
wife: those aren't our kids. remember, you said you didn't want kids...
Daryl: i knew i should have done the Floss Dance...

* Daryl: here it is! THE SPOT! the spot where the iconic photo will be took! i'm ready!!! oh FUCK are you kidding me the damn speedboat is driverless! fuck technology!

* Daryl: i want to be seen.
Flo: i see you. but you're too hairy for me.
Daryl: science hasn't made a scissors for me yet, they're working on the vaccine. i don't want to be sad anymore, i want to be sassy.

* i missed it the first time, i missed that shining detail, the PROGRESSIVE sign blocked the film action, i missed Daryl looking at his big feet before he says, "my name is Daryl", classic.

* Flo: you say "my name is Daryl" with such a pained accent. people have more time to do the things they put off now. note: this was recorded BEFORE the outbreak...
Daryl: yeah. now i have time to complete my screenplay.
Flo: oh right, rad. this is what everyone says when they have no idea and don't care.
Daryl: you look just like my agent. want to read my screenplay? it's good, i promise, it has a lot of big words.
Flo: ...um, i'm pretty busy now. in my abandoned office.
Daryl: fair enough...…...please?
Flo: fine......let's see, nice paragraphs, nice sentence structure...oh no i'm done.
Daryl: what?
Flo: here where it says he only mates with gingers cos he thinks their blood is red cos of their hair yeah see i deal in reality, i deal in cash, i don't do fantasy.

* Flo: do you have big feet?
Daryl: get in line with the rest of the ladies, lady. but you're cooler than me.
Flo: why do you say that?
Daryl: you got those different-colored Chuck Taylors, i wish they had those in my size.

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happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: going straight back to Jack. In The Box. for the Quad Bonus Jack. i think i have the fortitude now to tackle this burger. 4 patties i know but my mouth is big enough cos the dentist unhinged my jaw for those 4 root canals. with Bigfoot got my back we WILL defeat the bodacious metal Menutaur in the Mad Max desert!!!