notes:
* the Gecko: do you know why i always have such a calm disarming pleasant demeanor and soothing voice?
woman: are you British?
Gecko: no it's cos i'm an animal. we'll survive this, you humans are fucked.
* Gecko: i saw you move in...
woman: oh how nice!
Gecko: yeah i've been watching you through my telescope for days now. that moving truck was never seen again after it left your house.
woman: how were you able to call us?
Gecko: your address is your phone number...
* Gecko: made you some homemade biscuits! don't worry, they're not my droppings.
* woman: they're so small and cute!
Gecko: and kawaii?
woman: not cool.
man: what are these? pigeon pellets?
Gecko: cut that fro, fruit!
man: what?
Gecko: i mean...don't be a hog, man! don't eat all the biscuits in one gulp! you know how long i slaved over a hot stove to bring those to you!
man: it's a small batch yet still my entire mouth is so full i can't be understood and mumble when i talk cos my mouth is full.
* man: nutmeg?
Gecko: don't tempt me, i can nut you when you're sleeping.
man: cinnamon?
Gecko: cinnamon isn't a real spice, it's just brown sugar. don't dishonor Mom like this.
man: hey! Mom told me about you! where have you been! the family needed you! Mom told me YOUR REAL NAME!!!
Gecko: no, don't!!!
man: it's Arizona.
Gecko: HOW DARE YOU!!! i would NEVER be associated with that state!!!
man: Mom told me how you were born. you notice how you're the size of a cock? you were meant to be my cock but you turned green and fell off.
* Gecko: i'll come back for the plate.
man: i ate the plate...
CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: there are only drive-thrus where i live now in the dusty Mad Max apocalypse. soon these drive-thrus will only carry tests, not burgers. so i venture on and volunteer for their Triple Bonus Jack. i would have done the Quad Bonus Jack but i ain't selfish. and besides, to get the Quad you have to defeat the Menutaur in the desert which i lost...
4 comments:
I love Mary Berry.
But if it’s a British Lizard like Kevin then even better. Kevin is a Uromastyx which is already way more interesting than a Gecko.
Only drive through here too. No pubs, no nuffin. All stopped last night. I cannot imagine life here without a pub - it’s just not British…
Be safe, my sweet *)
There is only drive through here but it has not slowed the spread. At least he numbers do not reflect it yet. Probably all those kids ignoring the call to self isolate.
We have drive through testing going on at some hospitals. If I get sick I will just stay home unless it gets too bad. I don't need to be counted among the growing few.
I am getting so bored I posted twice today!
mah dahlin: if only Kevin had been born earlier HE would have been the Geico Gecko!!!
has it reached Mad Max level there yet, my sweet?
Mother's Day over there for you guys across the pond was also my birthday...…...so let's pretend we're eating some pub pizza and of course the birthday blowjobs and box-eating...
*)
bath: stay safe out there, my friend. and in there. yeah my writing schedule hasn't really changed much, but now the simple act of going on Instagram DM has taken on a whole new crucial mental-health significance for the circle
I don't really fellow anyone but hot models on Instagram and they aren't really real.
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