TMIT: CAUCUS

hello.

1. if you had to wear a T-shirt with just one word on it for an entire year, what would it say?

HYGGE

picture it now: i'm in a men's catalogue advertising the comfy fuzzy sweater i'm wearing, by the fireplace, munching on a tungsten plate of spaghetti with my dog Wilbur who holds a pink rose delicately between his lips---not his jowls---cos he thinks it's a stick. my three skateboards---all autographed by Bony Hawk---lay on their belly upright against the wood siding of the overhang chateau. this is a ski shack in the snowy mountains owned by Stussy and the lawyers...

2. what movie did your parents let you watch as a kid that they definitely should not have?

My Life As A Dog

cos it sent me on a wild goose chase i continue to this day. i consider My Life As A Dog one of the greatest films of all time, my favorite film as a youth despite me not knowing about it. i didn't get all the intricacies of it on first watch, the Swedish warm colors of the palette and the eternal sadness of the boxing ring and the Michael Jackson connection till i was well into an adult.

back then i saw it in the theatres in the '80s. with my parents holding me knee-high by my dress shoes. i was so small and innocent the popcorn bag was taller than me. didn't understand what the hell was going on on screen...but my parents sure did from their panicked reactions and pained red faces. when the scene comes on where the boy is telling the other boy about penises caught in glass bottles, it was time for the family to leave...

since then, i have been obsessed with this film. mostly cos i can't get it. i'd like to rewatch the film now with clear adult eyes to really experience it for the first time. to hear that grandfathered radio in it. you can't download it, and i don't have the money to buy the bluray with the Kurt Vonnegut interview of it i so desperately need to see. did you know the mother in this film is the mother of Avicii? talk about the tragedy of life imitating art. back then in the innocent '80s my dad suggested this film cos he thought the mother in it resembled the mother of one of my schoolyard friends at the time, Lydane.

3. what are your hopes for this day? to open my eyes tomorrow

4. what is holding you back from going after what you want? my DNA. thanks for nothing, 23andMe

5. if you could make a rule for a day and everyone had to follow it, what would it be?

Naked Day at church! that would bring the community together, nothing to hide, no more lies. i don't see the problem, we monks have been doing this since the Bible was written. you really think we have clean underwear under our brown robes?

also, you HAVE to say one nice thing about your bitterest enemy. here's how it would go down:

Donald Trump: okay, your body is an 8. thank you for my 5G.
Nancy Pelosi: your hands are like teacups, fine bone china.
Nancy Pelosi: anything else?
Donald Trump: no.
Nancy Pelosi: Donald.
Donald Trump: fine, i'll only do three terms, i'll be bored with it by then anyway...

BONUS: what is one thing you refuse to share? why? my drugs. cos i want them all to myself.

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY