notes:
* Waitrose: not The Bachelor
* this is NOT toyetic in any way! this ain't the '80s!
* btw, is Family Guy gonna have a Christmas special this year?...
* red-haired girl: this snow tastes like smog...
* dragon: so this isn't quite my dream of being in Frozen but in honor of John Lewis i'll do it.
* dragon: before we continue our friendship, i just need to tell you upfront i've never blown my nose...
* kid: yuck! i hate carrots!
Edgar the dragon: you'll eat grilled carrots, kids'll eat anything fried.
ginger: Edgar! if you kill Frosty, dragons will from then on forever be unfairly branded as killers.
Edgar: i didn't mean to, i swear! anyway, i just created CBS so i say i broke even.
* baker: um, a little girl shouldn't be working at a bakery. i know this is a Medieval bakery but still.
ginger: i can hold the roller just fine, thank you! i'll hit you over the head with it like i see my mama do with jesters!
baker: it's just...don't inhale any of the particles in the air, that ain't snow!
ginger: powder?
baker: yes but not baking powder!
* Edgar: don't mind me, i'm just chilling here on my cell phone on the snowy ground.
cat meows by.
Edgar: yeah i'm too cool for you cats.
Garfield and Heathcliff strut by and Edgar gets the f out of there
* ginger: WAIT! that frozen pond is not safe! wait, we've invented skates in these times?
Edgar: cos of me. you were just using old tennis racquets for snowshoes but my fire created the steel for blades.
kids sit in a half-inch of water.
kids: this could have turnt out WAY more disastrous. good thing this pond is shallow!
* townsfolk: we got a dragon loose in the town square, perfect time to put up not one or two but a shitton of giant green garlands all around the city.
ginger: now Edgar, i tied this around your jaws. cos i love you. think of it as that bamboo stick the girl in Demon Slayer has to have around her mouth so she doesn't eat humans.
* Edgar: not my fault! ear doctors don't exist in this era! my ears were full of wax cos i've NEVER cleaned them! okay you beat it out of me, i eat the earwax as my food! that's gold!
* Edgar: oh fuck that water! WE WILL FIGHT INJUSTICE!!!
* ginger: i'm not gonna fly away on this broom just cos i have red hair. oh btw, cat, you really need a place to stay, come to the bakery!
* baker: tough to tell what's the bread and what's the coals...
* ginger: hey Edgar. cool knocker you got there. i mean your doorknocker, looks just like you.
Edgar: twas my mother's. i mean my real mother, the villagers here are ruthless *starts to cry*
ginger: here, a prezzie to cheer you up. what's that poster behind you?
Edgar: Grinnygog, i was the only one who ever saw it.
ginger: so how can you afford this place on your own?
* ginger: so, we did this before Harry Potter, this takes place WAY BEFORE Harry Potter!
Harry Potter: i still don't know what Thanksgiving is.
* ginger: obviously i need trumpet lessons. this is the first trumpet ever blacksmithed thanks to Edgar.
Edgar: have you heard of something called hair metal? good news, everyone: i've controlled my sneezing cold through the use of the first cocaine, it was just flying around here in the atmosphere. bad news: this isn't a chocolate dome cake, it's a very large coal.
* Edgar: i'm gonna protect you forever.
ginger: that's sweet. but when i grow up i'm gonna demand i don't do nudity for thirsty directors.
Edgar: wait, what's your name again?
ginger: Jane...
CLICK HERE RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy long weekend, my babies, and Happy Thanksgiving.
TOMORROW: that Garlic Parmesan Crust pepperoni pizza from Papa John's. Papa John's is cool now, Shaq's in charge. he runs the jewels there now. come on, Shaq, open Papa John's up to more than just military...
2 comments:
Not even Shaq can make me want Papa Johns
bath: I actually could never try their new garlic pizza, there’s one Papa John’s in my entire tristate area but it only serves to military...
Post a Comment